Cullen Fan Mail!
by royailight
Summary: Got a question for the Cullens? Ask them! It's as easy as replying! Just a random fic about the Cullen's answering their fan mail! Please R'n'R. Rated T for language, letter content, fangirl wars,and me being on crack O.o
1. Chapter 1

**Cullen Fan Mail**

**Got a question for the Cullens?**

**Wanna find out where Emmett works out?**

**Think Rosalie is the same girl you saw in front of Victoria's Secret?**

**Dying to know where Alice really shops?**

**Well ask them!**

**It's as simple as... replying!**

**When other people are answering (other than the person you wrote it to) it will be bold**

**Disclaimer: Oh honestly if I owned Twilight would I be sitting here writing this sad excuse for a story? **

-------------------------

Dear Edward,

Will you marry me?!?!?!?!?

From,

edwardcullens#1fan

Dear edwardcullens#1fan,

No, I cannot marry you. Who is this anyway? Tanya? I hate not knowing!

Umm sincerely?

Edward

-------------------------

Dear Edward, Will you marry me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

From,

EdwardcullensTRUE#1fan

Dear EdwardcullensTRUE#1fan,

No! I'm engaged to Bella and if I marry you whoever you are I'll have to kill you later! Gosh!

**Emmett:** **Why is everyone asking to marry Edward? Why not me!**

**Author (me): HELLO!!! IT'S EDWARD CULLEN DUH!**

Sincerely,

Edward and Emmett Cullen

-------------------------

Dear Rosalie,

The other day I was walking around in the mall, when I stopped in front of VS and saw someone who looks just like you on a huge poster! Was it really you????? It looked like it was. And a bunch of guys were ogling it.

From,

Redrosesntulips

Dear Redrosesntulips,

If it was an old poster, probably yes. When I just got the red color out of my eyes, I decided to become a Victoria's Secret model. But then I quit. It drew too much attention to us. As for the boys, I get that. A lot

Sincerely, Rosalie

-------------------------

Dear Alice,

OMC OMC OMC OMC I cannot believe I'm talking to you! I have so many questions! How do you get your hair to stay spiky? Do you like Hannah Montana????? Where do you shop?????

**(A/N I had to cut this person's letter down. It was mad long)**

Love you lots,

HMalicefan

Dear HMalicefan

Thank you, I'm happy to talk to any fans! I use loooots of hair gel! Garnier Fructis works best on my hair, but and kind should do! Umm... I don't exactly like Hannah Montana. Sorry! And as for where I shop, Bergdorfs, Macys, Bloomingdales, **(A/N I had to cut this down too. She's a shopaholic)**

Love,

Alice

-------------------------

Dear Carlisle,

Is your hair naturally blonde?

Sincerely,

Frosty blonde

Dear Frosty Blonde,

Err what is that supposed to mean? Yes it's naturally blonde! I AM NOT GAY! The nerve of young people today! Goodness!

Carlisle

-------------------------

Dear Esme,

What colors should I paint my room?

Red, Black, and Gold

Or

Blue, Silver, and Gold?

Love,

Constrictedinpain

Dear Constrictedinpain,

I would like to say you have a very interesting name. About your room, it depends on how big it is and what kind of person you are. If you are more calm and relaxed person, go with blue, silver, and gold, or if you are a more outgoing and energetic person (like Alice) go with black, red, and gold. Shape and carpet color matter to. With the blue option, go gold carpet. With the red option, go black carpet.

Love,

Esme

-------------------------

**Well everyone I hoped you liked the first chapter of Cullen Fan Mail! Just PM or reply your question and I'll try to get it in. Now all these question were made up, or came from my friends (the one for Carlisle, Alice, and the Edward's did lol). I know Carlisle seemed a bit OOC, but I'll work on that. This is my first fic, so be nice. Review, it makes me happy! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Cullen Fan Mail**

**Got a question for the Cullens?**

**Wanna find out where Emmett works out?**

**Think Rosalie is the same girl you saw in front of Victoria's Secret?**

**Dying to know where Alice really shops?**

**Well ask them!**

**It's as simple as... replying!**

**When other people are answering (other than the person you wrote it to) it will be bold**

**Disclaimer: (place witty disclaimer sentence here) Oh and btw… I don't own Twilight.**

-------------------------

Dear Cullen Family

Um, they never said you were gay, Carlisle. At least not what I read. Are you hiding something? Well, anyway there is this poll on ff about who is best in bed, Jasper, Edward, Emmett, or Carlisle. I pick Carlisle!  
Sincerely,  
Gracelalia

Dear Gracelalia,

Edward told me the asker was thinking it. And why else would they ask a question such as 'Is you hair naturally blonde?' NO! I am not hiding something. I'm err… flattered?

**Edward: HOW COULD YOU PICK HIM????? HE'S OOLD!**

Excuse me? Go to your room young man!

**Edward: Sorry Carlisle**

**Jasper: Don't be. Why Carlisle??? Emmett what did you give this poor child to smoke????  
**Jasper! We do not talk like that in this house! Go to your room!

**Jasper: Sorry Dad**

**Author: I would pick Edward. Teehee**

**Emmett: What?!?!?! All 3 of them are prudes! I'm the best just ask Rosalie!**

How would Rosalie know?

**Emmett: I, err… told her?!?!?!**

Emmett! Go to your room!

Sincerely,

The Cullen boys

-------------------------

Dear Edward,

Do you really hate Jacob Black?

God bless,  
pacificgirl89

Dear Pacificgirl89,

What a wonderful question! Yes! I do hate him ( you will tell Bella _**nothing )**_ But I do owe him. He saved Bella from well, herself. Although I do loathe him, I owe him.

Sincerely,

Edward

-------------------------

To: Jazz (The Sexiest Vampire Alive![Dead?) and mebes Alice  
I love you, Jazzy! And I love you with Alice, so I won't ask you to marry me   
(tear). JAZZY, I KNOW THAT YOU WERE A CONFED SOLDIER AND NOT A COWBOY BUT DO  
YOU AND ALICE LOVE THE MOVIE HIDALGO?  
bloody ampersand

Dear Bloody Ampersand

Thank you? You are the only fan girl to respect my wishes. SEE EMMETT I DO HAVE FAN GIRLS! Emmett didn't believe me. And I do quit enjoy Hidalgo!

Love,

Jasper (although jazzy does sound quite nice. I think I'll use that from now on.)

-------------------------

Dear Carlisle,

Can you walk up walls?

From,

NewFanofTwilight

Dear NewFanofTwilight,

Errrrr nooo

The laws of gravity and physics still apply to vampires.

What is twilight supposed to be any way? Do you mean you are happiest at the time twilight? How fascinating.

From,

Carlisle


	3. Chapter 3

**Cullen Fan Mail**

**Got a question for the Cullens?**

**Wanna find out where Emmett works out?**

**Think Rosalie is the same girl you saw in front of Victoria's Secret?**

**Dying to know where Alice really shops?**

**Well ask them!**

**It's as simple as... replying!**

**When other people are answering (other than the person you wrote it to) it will be bold**

**Disclaimer: (place witty disclaimer sentence here) Oh and btw… I don't own Twilight.**

-------------------------

For Bella and Edward  
How do you feel about the characters chosen to be you in the twilight movie?

Lucky-Charm930

Dear Lucky-Charm930,

Hmmm, what is this mysterious Twilight you speak of? Movie? We're going to be in a movie? God please say Emmett didn't honestly tell the world about us…

Love,

A much traumatized Edward and Bella

-------------------------

Okay, question what would be your worst nightmare?

From,

me-myself and me

Dear me-myself and me,

**Edward: Bella leaving me!**

**Emmett: I don't have nightmares**

**Jasper: Going back to Maria**

**Alice: THE MALL CLOSING DOWN! (Dry sobs)**

**Rosalie: Losing my car. Or Emmett**

**Esme: A messy house!**

**Carlisle: Tasting blood**

From,

The Cullens

-------------------------

Dear Emmett,

What is your middle name...?

From,

Princess-bella13

Dear Princess-Bella13

How do I know you're not the FBI?!?!?!?! Oh NOOOO! Your some random fangirl attempting to track me down!!! You'll never take me alive! NOOOOOOOOO!!! **(A/N sorry Emmett was cracking. I had to cut this)**

Emmett

-------------------------

Dear Emmett,

I am an orphan. Sad, yes, but true. Will you adopt me? I'm not any trouble  
at all, really. I love to read and Jeep's rock!

Love,

Orphan Ashley

Dear Orphan Ashley,

Noooooo! Orphaned, how sad!

Dry sob I wish I could,

But then I'd have to kill you,

I'm sorry

Why must the good suffer?!?!?!

Emmett

-------------------------

Dear Edward (the impossibly handsome vampire!), Emmett (the incredibly awesome  
brotherly vampire!), Jasper (the best confederate soldier vampire ever!), and  
Carlisle (the hottest doctor in the history of the world and my fave!),

My friend believes that Bella should burn and die and not be changed. He is  
constantly saying this. He apparently hates Bella for unknown reasons. Do you  
wish to kill him for saying that? And have you ever tried coyote blood?

From,

Angstar54

Dear Angstar54,

**Edward: Your friend shall burn in the deepest pits of hell!**

**Carlisle: EDWARD! WE ****DO NOT ****SPEAK TO FANS LIKE THAT! GO TO YOUR ROOM! And thank you, see I DO have fan girls!**

**Emmett: Hmmm… coyote blood. No we haven't. I should take that into consideration**

**Jasper: Coyote blood?**

From,

The Cullen Boys

-------------------------

Dear Alice.

In the book Eclipse you're having a fight with Jasper and later a fight with  
the newborns. During the fight with Jasper it seems like you can see his next  
move all the time and I figure that is because you're psychic. In the same  
book you say that you can't see anything in the future when the wolves are  
around. And the wolfs ARE there during the fight with Jasper AND the newborns,  
so how is it possible that you can see their next move. Please respond.

Thank'u!

Illusjon

Dear Illusjon,

You're very observative. It seem like I could see his move all the time, but some times his future went blank. I think. MY BRAIN HURTS!!!! How did you find this out?!?!?!?!?! What do you TRY to think of ways to confuse me?!?!?! Ugh!!!!!

From,

Alice

(p.s now my brain hurts)

-------------------------

Dearest Jasper,

Since your emo, does that mean that you listen to screamo music? I love  
screamo music.

Yours 4eva&eva,

Emo Music Rox My Sox

Dear Emo Music Rox My Sox,

I AM NOT EMO!!!!!!!!! I am just extremely sensitive and a little shy! I have heard some screamo, but I prefer Rock. It just, relaxes me somehow. Edward found this question intriguing. I told him that was a big word.

Love, Jasper

-------------------------

Well that concludes another chapter of Cullen Fan Mail! If you couldn't tell, the Cullen's are starting to crack. I think they're thirsty, so next week's guest is going to be Jacob and his pack, Tanya's coven, oooorrrrr Bella, Angela, Ben, and Mike!! Your pick! Thanks for all the questions. Just so you know this is really just practice. I'm going to start a real fic soon and I'm getting used to the feel of writing. And btw, I have seen other stuff like Cullen fan mail, just not for twilight, so it was kinda my idea. Remember, this story runs on your reviews!


	4. Author's note sorry! Importantish

**Author's Note (sorry)**

**OK so I've decided next chapter's guest will be, JCOBS PACK!! Also, I may not be able to update as quickly as I wanted, since school will start again tomorrow, but I'll try my best! **

**WHOOT!**

**Sorry to everyone who wanted Bella and her friends or the Tanya's coven. I have tons of questions for the pack. Although I HATE Jacob with passion, I have interesting questions! So anyone with question for Tanya and Bella, don't forget them cuz in the end I'll squeeze them in. Start asking!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Cullen Fan Mail**

**Got a question for the Cullens?**

**Wanna find out where Emmett works out?**

**Think Rosalie is the same girl you saw in front of Victoria's Secret?**

**Dying to know where Alice really shops?**

**Well ask them!**

**It's as simple as... replying!**

**When other people are answering (other than the person you wrote it to) it will be bold**

**Disclaimer: Seriously, look at my English grade. JK my grade is pretty good, or how could I write this? Oh and btw… I don't own Twilight.**

**( I am also looking for funny disclaimer lines, if you have ones)**

-------------------------

Dear Paul,  
Have you ever been to anger management classes? Because seriously, you need  
them. Just thought I would throw that out there.  
-angstar54

Dear Angstar54,

**Jacob: I hope you're happy Paul's still eating dinner. He would KILL you. But yes, Emily, Sam, and just about everyone else in La Push has suggested that.**

Paul in the background: JAKEY WHO"S THE LETTER TO??

**Jacob: I'm dead**

Love,

Jake

-------------------------

Dear Jacob,

Have you ever kissed a vampire? What do you think of Rosalie's beauty? Is  
Sam gay?

Love,  
Orphan Ashley

Dear Orphan Ashley

I would **NEVER **kiss a bloodsucker. It doesn't matter how beautiful she is, she's a freaking leech! What the hell made you think Sam was gay?!?!?!?! He has Emily! DUH!

From, Jacob

-------------------------

Dear Emily,

How many eggs does it take to fill up a pack of werewolves? Also, is anyone in  
the pack gay?

Love,   
Orphan Ashley

P.S. Will you adopt me?

Dear Ashley,

Of course I'll adopt you! YAY! I have a daughter! Ermm… I lost count of eggs at like, 20? No, no one in the pack is gay. What makes you say that? Lots of people have been saying that, I wonder why. Hmmm

Love,

Emily

-------------------------

Dear pack (of amazingly hot werewolves),  
Umm...yes...first I love Embry; I don't know why everyone ignores him! Dang it!  
Marry me? (Okay I'm done) Also Jacob, I love you to death, but why do you keep  
going after Bella? You should move on yes? Because you have a biggillion  
million fan girls out there that love you (Though I'm team Edward...sorry) I  
love you!  
What is it that makes you like Bella? I'm confused...what is it?! I MUST  
KNOW!

Also Sam do you like being the leader of the pack? It seems hard.

BFT  
PS-EMBRY IS MY FAVORITE WEREWOLF! HE HAS FANS TOO! LOVE HIM:)

Teehee

Blood Filled Tears

Dear Blood Filled Tears,

**Embry: WHOO! See I DO have fan girls! TAKE THAT PAUL! I think I'm too young for marriage. Sorry!**

**Jacob: Why am I doing this? I ask myself. Oh yeah because Bella begged and said it would be fun and I have a lot of fans! Pish!! Oh god. Here we go again. Why does everyone ask the Bella question? I love her, and I could protect her better than her leech. I could give her more than he can. See I have fan girls to. TTAKE THAT PAUL!!!**

**Sam: It gets annoying, listening to these people's petty problems. But it has redeeming qualities.**

**Jacob: Oh yes and we REALLY love listening to your private soap operas!**

**Sam vibrating violently in the background: YOU"RE DEAD!**

**Love,**

**Embry, Sam, and a dead Jacob**

-------------------------

Dear Jacob,

Would you kill Bella if she was turned in to a Vamp?

Love, Justwondering

Dear Justwondering,

NO!!!! Why does everyone ask all these Bella- related questions????? THIS IS JACOB NOT BELLA!!!!! God! Anyway, I'm not like those bloodsuckers. Just because they break the treaty by changing her, doesn't mean I will by killing her. I would** never **do that to her.

Jake

-------------------------

Well, that was another chapter of Cullen Fan mail! Sorry for the long update time. I had homework and couldn't get on the computer forever! Anyways next week it will be Edward next, and then Bella will join in with the Cullens. But, I'm sorry to say, I think I will only go for 10 chapters with this. This is all really just practice for another fic I'm going to do next! Anyway, I promise a longer chapter next time. I just need more questions! Start asking and I'll give you a cookie.


	6. Chapter 6

**Cullen Fan Mail**

**Got a question for the Cullens?**

**Wanna find out where Emmett works out?**

**Think Rosalie is the same girl you saw in front of Victoria's Secret?**

**Dying to know where Alice really shops?**

**Well ask them!**

**It's as simple as... replying!**

**When other people are answering (other than the person you wrote it to) it will be bold**

**Disclaimer: Seriously, look at my English grade. JK my grade is pretty good, or how could I write this? Oh and btw… I don't own Twilight.**

**( I am also looking for funny disclaimer lines, if you have ones)**

-------------------------

Dear Edward,  
OMG I love you are so hott!...who does your hair?! Also will you leave Bella  
for me!  
Princess-Bella13

Dear Princess-Bella13

Thank you. And I do my own hair. Umm….. no, I cannot leave Bella for you. Sorry,

Edward

-------------------------

Dear Edward,

I love you, but I think you should stay with Bella, don't worry. I absolutely HATE Jacob. Is there anyway I can harm him even though I am human?

Love,  
TheotherCullen427

Dear TheotherCullen427,

I hate Jacob too. I recommend a crowbar or baseball bat!

Love,

Edward

**(A/N: I'm unsure of what betas are to. Maybe you should ask someone else. Sorry!)**

-------------------------

Dear Jasper,  
Why Confederate? WHY?! Other than that tinsy little thing...I love you (not  
in THAT way, but you know...)  
Anyways...I bet that taking care of all those silly, out of control Newborns  
was a lot like taking care of hyper, sugar-high seven year olds, in which case  
I feel for you. I've got little sisters who are constantly on a sugar-high,  
which means biting galore. I've even got scars!! And everyone says that I can  
control their emotions so...I guess we've got a lot in common? I don't know.  
Maybe we could talk some time... (Hint hint) And Alice could come too!  
Eagerly Waiting,   
ReplaceWithSomethingWitty

Dear ReplaceWithSomethingWitty,

Hmm… now that I think of it, it is like trying to take care of sugar high 7-year olds. Hmm… I'll bring Alice over and we can discuss methods of taking care of newborns and seven years olds.

Love,

Jasper

-------------------------

Dear Edward,

What is the sexiest part of Bella's body? Answer truthfully!  
Love,  
(Not so Orphan) Ashley

Dear (not so orphan) Ashley,

What is not so orphan Ashley supposed to mean?

And her face is the err... sexiest part. Goodness, I must say, you ask the most outrageous questions.

**Emmett and Jasper coughing in the background: PRUDE!**

Edward: Vampires don't cough.

Love,

Edward, Emmett, and Jas

-------------------------

Dear Jasper, Carlisle, and Emmett,  
Do you ever get jealous of Edward because of the millions of fan girls he has?  
(Me being one of them. Love ya Edward!)

Love,

Edward Cullen's Elf Friend

Dear Edward Cullen's Elf Friend,

**Jasper: Oh hell no. I have fan girls too. More than Emmett now too! Haven't you read the letters?!?!?!**

**Emmett: No, Jazzy I have more fan girls. Hellooooo its Emmett Cullen. Oh and there's not much to be jealous of with Edward. I don't see why he has sooo many fan girls. He's the world's biggest prude after Carlisle, of course.**

**Carlisle: EMMETT! YOU"RE GROUNDED AND I AM NOT A PRUDE! I have fan girls too you know. God! Although, I do envy Edward sometimes. **

Love,

Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper

-------------------------

Dear Cullen Family,  
Hey there has been a discussion on what the best couple is for ya'lls  
story. Before you ask if you don't know it's the book Twilight. You should read it if you never heard the name before. Oh yeah, Esme your so lucky! Dang it! Why can't I have an incredibly hot doctor/vampire/best in bed husband like you?!!?  
Love,

Gracelalia

Dear Gracelalia,

**Alice: Ooooooooohhh, we should read it, I can see us enjoying it. MUAHAHAHA**

**(Everyone stares at her)**

**Edward: WHAT?!?!?! ME AND BELLA ARE THE BEST COUPLE!**

**Emmett: NOT ME AND ROSALIE!!!**

**Jasper: IT'S ME AND ALICE ALL THE WAY!!!!**

**Esme: Umm………… why thank you?????**

**Carlisle: SEE A FAN GIRL! **

Love,

The Cullens

-------------------------

Dear Edward,  
Have you ever thought of hunting Killer Whales? They are the wolves of the sea you know...Not that I'd be happy if you did. I'd be positively livid if you killed a killer whale...but I'm just wondering if it has ever crossed your mind.  
Lots of hugs,  
Pacificgirl89  
P.S...Team Edward rules!  
Now where is my cookie!? J/k: p

Dear Pacificgirl89,

Not so much, killer whales are gross. No offense. And Hayden Panettierre will murder me. Wolves of the sea. Hmmmmmm… I know teamed ward rules. And I'll get the author to see about your cookie.

Love,

Edward

-------------------------

Dear Edward,

-Insert proposals, blabbering about your gushing hawtness and other junk here- Hi Edward!! Okay, so, if you had to choose, which song would you pick?  
Fergalicious, Glamorous, Don't Stop the Music, or the Numa Numa? And if your life depended on it (AKA Bella asked you to) would you wear fishnets if you were still competing with Jake?

I LOVE YOU!  
Tell Alice I love her too, ;) (NOT IN A LESBIAN WAY)

vAMPLIFIED

**Dear vAMPLIFIED,**

**Umm…… Glamorous? I don't know. I would do almost anything for Bella, and if I'm competing against a pup, of course I'll wear fishnets. Alice says back at you.**

**Love,**

**Edward**

-------------------------

**Well, that wraps up another Cullen Fan mail! Thanks for all my fabulous questions. In case you didn't notice, I changed the rating to T because of language and some questions (cough ORPHAN ASHLEY cough), but that's OK! Thanks to everyone who has told me I am a genius, really I'm not. But anyway, I'll send the cookies soon.**

**Teehee**


	7. Chapter 7 the best one, garanteed

**Cullen Fan Mail**

**Got a question for the Cullens?**

**Wanna find out where Emmett works out?**

**Think Rosalie is the same girl you saw in front of Victoria's Secret?**

**Dying to know where Alice really shops?**

**Well ask them!**

**It's as simple as... replying!**

**When other people are answering (other than the person you wrote it to) it will be bold**

**Disclaimer: (place witty disclaimer sentence here) Oh and btw… I don't own Twilight or any of the stores below.**

**Also, no offense to any one who shops at Hollister, AE, Aero, or A and F. I do shop at Aero sometimes, so please don't yell at me. You'll see why later.**

**Also, this chapter is also dedicated to all my readers, especially Orphan Ashley! Thanks sooo much for your crazy questions and I wish I could name all of you, but sadly that would take up the whole page! Anyway, onwards!**

-------------------------

Dear Emmett,

Do you feel like you got the short straw in the power department? I mean,  
your power is your strength, yet a newborn can beat you up easy, and Edward  
can sometimes beat you in wrestling fights.  
Stay strong,  
Red Dragon.

Dear Red Dragon,

NO! I didn't get the short straw! Of curse a new born can beat anyone; they have vampire and their own human blood in them. Also, that's the thing. He can _sometimes _beat me. Plus, he always read's my mind. If he didn't do that, I would beat him easy.

Love,

Emmett

-------------------------

Dear Jasper and Carlisle (Emmett and Edward, sorry, you don't get a question: blows them a kiss :),  
Jasper, you have southern accent, and Carlisle, you have a British accent.  
How have you been able to hold onto your accent? I had a Canadian accent,  
because I lived there for my entire life (up to thirteen), but I lost the  
accent after three years in America. And you vampires have been around much  
more than three years, Jasper, you are what? Pushing 183? And Carlisle, you are  
400-something?! Oh, and for the record, I think accents are sexy: winks:  
Curious to hear your answer,  
AneleTiger.

Dear AneleTiger,

**Carlisle: Hmm… that's a very good question. Well, I guess it's just a part of me. I can't help it, it just won't go away. And Esme agrees, she like accents too.**

**Jasper: Carlisle right. It's just a part of me. I can't help it anymore than I can help the fact I'm a blood drinking vampire.**

Love,

Jasper and Carlisle

-------------------------

Dear Cullen family,  
I am a vampire and I need a home. I'm only 12. Will you take me in? PLEASE?  
Ps- Emmett, Edward, and Jasper are HAWT!! Sorry Carlisle. You're too old. I  
mean it would be like dating my dad. EW! I just poisoned myself!  
PSS- Alice, you and I think alike. Take me shopping and then we can get  
mani/pedis:D  
xoxo SweetxNothings

Dear SweetxNothings,

**Carlisle: We're rather full right now and taking in 2 vampires at one time will be hard. Maybe you should ask Tanya? I AM NOT OLD!**

**Esme: It's OK dear; you're just older than most fans.**

**Emmett: She thinks I'm sexy**

**Jasper: She said WE were HAWT!**

**Edward: I still have more fan girls**

**Alice: SQUEE!!! A NEW SHOPPING PARTNER!**

Love,

The Cullens

-------------------------

Dear Cullen Family:  
You're all so cool! I love you all!!  
I have a little question... is it true that vampires can only have one true love in all their lives?  
And I see my parents have some problems with technology and they say that  
it's because they're old, but you are older than them! Do you have problems  
with technology too??  
Love,  
Vale  
P.S.: Vamps are better than Wolfs!

Dear Vale,

**Edward: Damn right about that. I like this girl!**

**Emmett: Oh god, here we go again!**

**Esme: BOYS! No fighting while we are answering fan mail! Well, I don't have much trouble with technology. But, I suppose that's because I have been around long enough to learn to use it.**

**Carlisle: I agree. At work, we use the most complex instruments. I'm glad I've been around long enough to be able to use them blindfolded.**

**Alice: Well, not all vampires have only one true love. I do suppose you can have two.**

Love,

The Cullens

-------------------------

Dear Edward,  
You are ah-mazing! You are so hott!  
Tell Bella that she is super duper lucky!  
Can you possibly visit me? Ya know to see if you can read my mind? Thanks bunches!  
Love ya!  
Mrscullen01  
P.S: tell every one I said hey! Alice you are amazing!!

Dear Mrscullen01,

Thank you. Bella says she knows. I would try to visit you, but I don't know where you live. Sorry! Alice says thanks. Emmett says why aren't you HIS fan girl? (Emmett has issues)

Love,

Edward

-------------------------

Dear Edward,  
One question, how do you know its love? The chemistry you have with Bella  
just makes sense, but how did you know that she was THE ONE! Congrats on the  
engagement!

Love,  
WhereIsTheLove

Dear WhereIsTheLove,

That's a great question! It just clicked. Like love at first sight. When I saw her (and got used to her being there) I just know we were meant for each other. It's hard to explain really. It was like an impulse, like knowing when you're hungry or when you need water. It just happens. Thanks a lot!

Love,

Edward

-------------------------

Rosalie,

Why do you hate Bella? She makes Ed happy and shouldn't that make you  
happy? You just need to get over the fact that she WANTS to be a vampire and  
you didn't have a choice, so CHILAX! (CHILL RELAXCHILAX)I really think that  
you are a nice person and could be an awesome friend to Bella.  
Kolly!/yourcool79

Dear Kolly!/yourcool79,

I DO NOT hate Bella. I just think that if she has a choice to stay human or be a vampire, she should stay human. Being human was so wonderful, and she's giving that up. Obviously it makes me happy to see Edward happy (he said don't call him Ed), but I still think that's No excuse for giving up a great life. I am starting to slowly accept the fact that she wants to be a vampire, but it still will take a while before I can really be close to her.

Love,

Rosalie

-------------------------

Dear Edward,

Would you bite me because I've always wanted to be bitten by a vampire?  
Have you ever heard of the show called Moonlight? You should watch it and Jacob  
I want you to die vv

Rachelxvampirexlikesxblood

Dear Rachelxvampirexlikesxblood,

I'm sorry I cannot bite you. That would be against my ethics to bite a healthy human. Unless it's Bella, but if I don't bite her she will die. And I have heard of moonlight Esme, Alice, Rose, and Bella love it. That and Heroes. I want Jacob to die also.

Love,

Edward

-------------------------

Dear Alice,  
I'm in need of a major wardrobe change. Where do you suggest I shop if I don't  
have a whole lot of money?  
EdwardsMyHero  
P.S: Alice, you are my favorite vamp!

Dear EdwardsMyHero,

Hmm... Macy's is good. Possibly Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch. Aero and AE are OK also (although I wouldn't be caught dead or alive in those stores). But it's very hard to say unless I know who you are. SHOPPING SPREE! Awww… thank you! SEE EMMETT SHELIKES ME BETTER!

Love,

Alice

-------------------------

Dear Esme,

Who you "do" Edward if he wasn't your son and you weren't married?

Love,

ItachiZukoEdward

Dear ItachiZukoEdward,

Umm… What do you mean by do????? What kind of question is this?!?!?!?! HOW COULD YOU POST SUCH A QUESTION?!?!?!?! NO I WOULD NOT "DO" HIM!!!!!!!!! GOODNESS!

**Author (me): I'm sorry Esme. I had to post this, it was from my dearest cousin (you see the kind of people I'm related to?!?!?!? God) **

**Edward: OH MY GOD! YOUR COUSIN IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!! SCREW ETHICS SHE'S DEAD!!!!!! I WOULD RATHER TAKE A ROUND OF QUESON FOMR ORPHAN ASHLEY (A/N** sorry I wanted to say that. I just love your question. But apparently Edward doesn't but keep 'em coming)

**Edward: GOD! THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE!**

**Love,**

A very pissed off Edward and Shocked Esme.

-------------------------

Well there you go folks. That question really was form my cousin. See???? I live in a madhouse. I'm only going to 10 chapters with this. Also to anyone who has sent questions to Bella or anyone else, don't worry the Cullen's are going camping again and next weeks guest is Bella, Angela, Jessica, Mike, and anyone else form Forks High! So start asking!


	8. Another AN sorry!

**A/N:**

**SOOOOOO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING MY SOTRY!!!!!! The thing is I usually type it up on Weds. But this Wednesday I had stuff to do and I have a test coming up so I had to study. So extremely sorry for not posting and as a sorry gift, I'll add an epilogue of Cullen Fan Mail. Weird story for an epilogue, but it'll be fun. Also don't forget, this week's guest is Bella and her Forks High friends. I have been getting questions like "Dear Mike, Why do you love Bella?" Or "Dear Mike, move on, Bella loves EDWARD!!!!" Just so you know, I will only post 3 or 4 of those questions, and if I don't get any more questions, it'll be a super-short chapter. Again, I'm super sorry, please don't be mad!!!!!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Cullen Fan Mail**

**Got a question for the Cullens?**

**Wanna find out where Emmett works out?**

**Think Rosalie is the same girl you saw in front of Victoria's Secret?**

**Dying to know where Alice really shops?**

**Well ask them!**

**It's as simple as... replying!**

**When other people are answering (other than the person you wrote it to) it will be bold**

**Disclaimer: Oh honestly if I owned Twilight would I be sitting here writing this sad excuse for a story? **

-------------------------

Bella,

Did mike try to be the rebound guy when Edward left? Like try to be  
all," If you need a shoulder to cry on I am here." Or is he not a playa like  
that. Reply back.  
Psycho-sama101

Dear Psycho-sama101,

Actually, he avoided me. I was like a walking, talking zombie. He like all of my supposed REAL FRIENDS left me. sob

Love,

Bella

-------------------------

Dear Bella,

You are the cruelest, most sadistic and selfish person ever. Are you really  
so indecisive and insensitive that you cannot choose between Edward and Jacob?  
Do you really crave attention so much that you have to have two people loving  
you and egging them one? Make up your mind, woman! Edward and Jacob deserve  
much more than the pathetic piece of life that you are. In fact, if Edward  
didn't love you, I would have pushed you off a cliff ages ago. But I wouldn't  
hurt Edward like that.

Go die,  
HotLikeFire.

HotLikeFire,

What the hell is this?!?!?!?! This is Cullen fan Mail, not Cullen Hate MAIL!!!!! I love Edward, and I love Jacob- but like a little bro. It's not the same, and stop calling me names that I don't understand!!!!!!! UGH! HOW ON EARTH COULD THE AUTHOR POST THIS?!?!??!  
Bella

-------------------------

Dear Bella,

What is your pet name for Edward?  
P.S I'm a fan boy.

What would happen if someone called Edward Eddy? My friend says that you  
would laugh and walk away. Is this true? Say hi to jasper for me. He's my  
favorite Vamp. Then Edward you, then Emmett, then Carlisle, then Alice and Esme  
are on the same level, then Rosalie.

Mike why are you always hitting on Bella? She likes Edward not you, so get  
over it!  
I hate you btw. Edward Cullen to the end of time!

Love,

ReadingIsLife.7

Dear ReadingIsLife.7,

**Bella: AWESOME A FAN BOY!!!!!!!! I call him Edward. That's it. No pet name. Edward **_**hates**_** being called Eddy. He would probably crush the person's skull. Jasper say hello. **

**Mike: I do not hit on Bella. I like Jessica. GOD! **

**Love,**

**Bella and Mike**

-------------------------

Dear Mike,

Did you know that Bella and Edward are getting married? What do you think  
about that? I hope you're finally going to give up and realize she doesn't love  
you.

MomSolo23

Dear MonSolo23,

Bella told me. I'm fine with it. Why does everyone assume I have a problem with it??? Well, I worked it out in therapy! SHE LOVES ME LIKE A BUDDY!!!!!

MIKE!

-------------------------

Dear Mike,  
Are you gay?

Love,

Princess-Bella13

(Insert asker's name here),

I didn't even bother writing your name. I AM NOT GAY.

I HATE YOU

MIKE

-------------------------

Dear Mike,

Would you please just get a life! I mean seriously, get over Bella already!  
Or better yet, go die! I prefer the latter. At least if you were dead Edward  
could get some peace of mind and not have to worry about your disgusting  
perverted thoughts about his fiancée! And Bella would not have to invite you  
to her wedding!

So just please do the world a favor and go jump off a cliff or something!  
Better yet go visit Volterra. Doubt anyone will be seeing you again after  
that.

Angstar54

PS: I love Angela and Bella. We can go to a bookstore together anytime and I  
would love it.

Dear Angstar54,

I HAVE GOTTEN OVER BELLA!!! STOP SAYING THAT!!!! I DEALED WITHT HAT IN THERAPY!!!!! WHY DON'T YOU GO DIE?!?!?!?! I _**DO NOT**_ HAVE PERVERTED THOUGHTS!!!! I LOVE JESSICA AND THINK ABOUT ONLY HER!!!! SHE NEARLY BEGGED ME TO COME SO WHAT NOW!!!!! WHY VOLTERRA????????

AND ANG AND BELLA AREN'T GOING WITH YOU SINCE YOU WERE MEAN TO ME

MIKE

-------------------------

Dear mike and Bella  
Mike no offense, I mean its cool how you didn't ditch Bella like Jessica, but do  
you still really think you have a chance with her. Edward doesn't scare you at  
all?  
Bella, if you could have any of the Cullens powers, what would it be?

Edward Cullen's Elf Friend

Dear Edward Cullen's Elf Friend

**Mike: I love Jessica. Why would Edward scare me?????**

**Bella: Hmmm… I like them all. Mind-reading, controlling emotions, and futre seeing. That's tough.**

**Love,**

**Mike and Bella**

-------------------------

Dear Bella and Mike,

The first part of this is for Bella. Bella, you and I are alike in that we  
are danger-magnets. Just thought I'd let you know you weren't the only one.  
But here's my question, my sister is exactly like Alice, she likes to drag me  
to the mall or where ever. Do you have any tips on how I can get out of them  
without hurting her feelings?

Now for Mike, ah how should I say this without sounding mean...GET OVER IT  
DUDE! Move on! Bella is with Edward and he will always be. Why can't you stick  
to Jessica? She's such a nice girl for you. Alright 

Hugs,  
Pacificgir89

Dear Pacificgirl89,

**Bella: Yes, I'm not the only danger magnet. Hmmm... Tell her you have to I don't know, wash your hair, do homework, that you just want to sit down and relax. Or try shooting her with a taser. I usually tell Alice the mall has been closed, or burned down ******

**Mike: I AM STICKING WITH JESSICA!!!! GOD!**

**Love,**

**Bella and Mike**

-------------------------

Dear Mike:

Did you know that Bella has a nickname for you?  
She calls you a golden retriever!  
Hehe, just for you to know :)  
I'm your fan Mike, you're so cool!  
Love,  
Vale-

Dear vale,

YAY!!! A FAN!!!!!!!!!! A golden retriever??? Where did she get that from????? I'm lost. Oh well, I'll work it out in therapy.

Love,

Mike

-------------------------

Dear Bella,  
I've always wondered, what would have happened  
if Edward hadn't come back? My friends say that  
you and Jacob would have started dating. In my  
opinion I can't stand Jacob and think that the world  
would be a better place if he would just die.   
Don't you think so?

Sincerely,  
Person who hates Jake,   
redstar-leader-of-thunderclan

Dear redstar-leader-of-thunderclan,

I would not have dated Jake. It would have been too hard. I don't want to think about what would have happened. Jacob is my friend and I don't appreciate people hating him!

Love,

Bella

-------------------------

Dear Tyler,  
Are you still feeling guilty for almost running Bella over? And why did you  
think she was going to prom with you?

And: 

Dear Bella,  
You're the luckiest girl in the world! Edward is awesome I love him but he's  
better with you. Anyway, on to my question. What exactly is it you love the  
most about Edward and why?

Love,  
Water-Lyly  
P.S. You're my fave Twilight character!

Dear Water-Lyly,

**Tyler: I do still feel guilty. I thought I could make it up to her by taking her to the prom with someone as cool as me.**

**Bella: Hmm… I love everything about him. He's kind and sweet and always looking out for me. And if I want anything done, he's tries (not hard enough) to do it.**

**Love,**

**Tyler and Bella**

-------------------------

Dear Lauren,  
How's the modeling career going?? The hair is...interesting. Have you heard  
back from anyone yet? evil wink

Dear Angela,  
Have you ever noticed anything weird about the Cullens? Aside from the fact  
that Edward wants to marry Bella. Do you ever wonder why they always keep to  
themselves? I think sometimes that you know more than you say.

MonSolo23

Dear Monsolo23,

**Lauren: Modeling is good. And thanks, I didn't like the hair too much actually. No I haven't heard from anyone sob**

**Angela: I thought they were a little strange at first, not eating and stuff, but I guess if Bella trusts them, then I can. I say as much as I know**

**Love**

**Angela and Lauren**

-------------------------

Yay another chappie!!! Sorry if it wasn't as good, long, or funny. And I apologize for taking foreva, I've had too much to do. I don't know when I'll next update, so please don't stalk me. Anyway next week are the Cullen's again, so start asking!


	10. Chapter 10

**Cullen Fan Mail**

**Got a question for the Cullens?**

**Wanna find out where Emmett works out?**

**Think Rosalie is the same girl you saw in front of Victoria's Secret?**

**Dying to know where Alice really shops?**

**Well ask them!**

**It's as simple as... replying!**

**When other people are answering (other than the person you wrote it to) it will be bold**

**Disclaimer: Oh honestly if I owned Twilight would I be sitting here writing this sad excuse for a story? **

-------------------------

Dear Emmett,

This is Orphan Ashley's cousin.� I'm the sane one in the family. My question  
is...If I find a place that doesn't rain nor shine, will you run away with  
me?

Love, MsZuberu16

P.S�Orphan Ashley told me to tell Ed it's NOT over! Muhhaahhahaahahaa!

Dear MsZuberu16,

THERE ARE SANE PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY? Umm…no

Ed says it's on.

Emmett

-------------------------

Dear all Cullens (and Bella - you count too, of course ),  
I have two questions...  
1) Why are all vampire partners boy/girl - do you not get gay/lesbian  
vampires? And can a werewolf imprint on someone of the same sex?  
2) This is for Edward and Bella - do you believe that you would've found each  
other even if the Cullens hadn't come to live in Forks? I do - destiny  
Please answer! I really love all of you!

Love,  
MoonStar  
X

Dear MoonStar,

**Carlisle: Goodness, there are gay/lesbian vampires and werewovles but I haven't met any.**

**Emmett: Ya, I was beginning to think Ed was gay-until he found Bella.**

**Edward: Fuunny. And yes, we do. Everything happens for a reason.**

Love,

Edward, Carlisle, and Emmett

-------------------------

Dear Jasper,  
You said that you were very charismatic when you were a human, but do you  
think that's changed since you've become a vampire? Now you seem more reserved  
and quiet, I wanna know if it's just me that thinks so! Oh, and do you only  
let Alice call you Jazz? Just wonderin!

Sincerely,  
nightwind688

PS- You are AWESOME:3

Dear Nightwind688,

You're not the only one who thinks that. I get a bunch of stuff like 'Oh Jasper, WHY EMO?" Or from Esme 'Oh Jasper darling you're such a wonderful young man, why are you so gloomy?'

Only Alice calls me Jazz.

Love,

Jasper

-------------------------

Dear Cullens,

Have my questions created mass destruction yet? Just checking. Well I have a  
question for everyone. Since I told you to read your book will you see the  
movie when it comes out? About ya'll characters, um only Esme and Rose look  
like how most pictured. Emmet your actor is almost bald! HAHAHAHAHA!Oh but  
Bella's look perfect for the movie.

Luv ya lots!  
Gracelalia

Dear Gracelalia.

**Edward: YES ARE YOU HAPPY? I NEED THERAPY NOW! I'm OK. I don't really look like that. But Robert'll do.**

**Emmett: I like me. I'm NOT BALD**

**Rosalie: I'm not that ugly**

**Esme: Wow, mine looks perfect!**

**Alice: I'm pretty!**

**Carlisle and Jasper: WE"RE BRUNNETTES? AND OUR ACTORS LOOK NOTHING LIKE US! **

Love,

The Cullens

(AN: you can get the cast on 

-------------------------

Dear Most AWESOMEST Couple in The Universe  
Have u crushed on some1 be4 u met?  
�BE TRUTHFUL!  
I hve anothr 1  
� Do u guys want 2 go 2 DisneyWorld?  
cuz some Fanfics hve u guys going 2 DisneyWorld and thr really funny  
#1 Fan Of Both Of U  
KirbyStar 5

Dear KirbyStar5,

**Bella: No.**

**Edward: Umm…. No. Actually we were think of going to Paramount's Kings Island in April **(AN an idea for another fic. Details later)

Love,

Edward and Bella

-------------------------

Dear Jazz and Alice mostly Alice,  
Jazz if you didn't go into the cafe what would you might have done. And Alice  
would you keep searching for him?  
Love CassieRae, your biggest fan!

Dear CassiRae,

**Jasper: I don't know what I would do. Keep running, I suppose**

**Alice: Yes, I would have. I saw myself meeting him sometime soon. **

Love,

Alice and Jasper

-------------------------

Dear Esme,  
I heard about Carlisle's Gayness, sucks to be you. I love Jasper, but I love  
Alice too so I wont hurt her feelings by stealing him away. Did you take  
Alice's advice and read Twilight, if so, what was your opinion of it?  
From  
Purplepixie'n'srinkles  
p.s. You vampires are all so effortlessly B-E-A-Utiful. I'm Jealous!

Dear Purplepixie'n'srinkles

**Esme: HE'S NOT GAY! And yes we did. It was pretty good. Edward didn't enjoy New Moon at all and some of Eclipse scared him. He kept muttering something about no compromise?**

**Love,**

**Esme**

-------------------------

Dear Cullens,

Hi!  
Just a little question  
WHY ARE YOU SO BEAUTIFUL ?

I love your family, if want to have the same !

A FRENCH FAN [ Sorry if I did mistakes I'm not pretty good in English

JACOB FOREVER [I know you don't like him :p 

Love,

Nora33470

Dear Nora33470,

**Edward: Jacob's dead to me. YAY! A French Fan! I didn't know we were so popular**

**Carlisle: Well, it's all part of the change. It's a long, boring and complicating process.**

**Emmett: Ya, people screaming their heads of in agonizing tortured. Reeeeeeaaaaaaaaallllllll boring!**

**Love,**

**The Cullens**

-------------------------

Dear Alice,

Would you mind sharing Jasper? Pwease?  
You two are awesome by the way.  
Although I do hate shopping, sorry.

Dear Jazzy,

You win. Sorry Edward and Emmett. Jasper beats you.  
Also, what's your favorite food?

-Zeke

Dear Zeke,

**Alice; NO SHARING! AND YOU HATE SHOPPING? WHAT"S WRONG WITH YOU!**

**Jasper: I don't eat food. But maybe spaghetti!**

Love,

Jasper and Alice

-------------------------

Dear Cullens:

What would you do if someone had found out about your secret and leaked it to  
the media? Or… say, written a book about you? How would you handle that?

Edward - What would you have done if Bella really had killed herself and you  
had been prevented from getting to the Volturi? Would you have tried to go on?  
Because, you know, lots of people love you. Like me, haha. :) But seriously,  
fan girls or not, there could be someone else out there for you.

Emmett - Hi! You have a fan girl. But, um...I think Edward has way more.

Jasper - Just wanted you to know, you have a fan girl. :)

Bella - It's okay to be klutzy! Besides, you're going to be a stinkin'  
vampire (not meant literally) soon, and you will be the embodiment of grace.  
hugs I am jealous of you...you have Edward. I will�never be able to find  
someone who is as good as him for you, who will be my Edward.

Yours,  
Ali

Dear Ali,

**Carlisle: EMMETT! PLEASE DON"T TELL ME YOU TOLD THE FBI!**

**Edward: I would have killed myself. End of discussion.**

**Emmett: Psh! Whatever, I sooo have more and you know it!**

**Jasper: FANGIRLS**

**Bella: Thank you? I AM NOT KLUTZY! OK, maybe a bit! DON"T LOOK AT MELIKE THAT!**

Love,

Bella and the Cullens

-------------------------

Dear Cullen Family,

What would your worst fear? Also, for Edward, ITS NOT OVER!

Much love,

Orphan Ashley

Dear Orphan Ashley,

**Edward: OH NOOO! NOT YOU! MY BIGGEST FEAR! YOUR QUESTIONS! **

**Emmett: I don't have fears**

**Alice: The mall closing down**

**Jasper: Losing Alice**

**Carlisle: Tasting blood**

**Esme: A messy house!**

Love,

Edward!

-------------------------

Well, one more Cullen fan mail done! Again with the usual apologies for the wait! I have decided on an idea for a new fic. Stay tuned. Details later! Don't think I won't answer all of your questions, I will , just keep reminding me. If, after the epilogue, I still haven't answered a question of yours, remind me and I'll instantly post a new chapter with your questions. My fic runs on your reviews so start asking!

-------------------------

HAHAHA did you honestly I was done? And without a questions from my dearest cousin? PUH-lease she won't let me post a chapter until I post her questions.

-------------------------

Dear Rosalie,

I know you hate being a vampire, but I also know that you are very vain,  
don't deny it. So, my question to you is the following: would you rather be  
a resplendently gorgeous vampire or, the most ugly and hideous of humans.

Don't lie,  
AneleTiger.

Dear AneleTiger,

When I first read your question, I though 'Goodness, how difficult!' Now I think 'Duh! How obvious!' Honestly, I would give up my beauty for humanity. What a great question!

Love,

Rosalie

-------------------------

Edward, if you could figure out a way to read Bella's mind, would you (even  
though you know she would hate it)?  
Alice, Yea! You're my fave! Anyways, how many clothes do you have and what do  
you do with the old ones? (Can I have them?)  
Jasper, have you gotten used to Bella's "sent" yet? And do you watch war  
reenactments? What's your favorite?  
Emmett, what's your favorite past time activity? (Besides hunting)  
Rosalie, Does Emmett ever get jealous of other guys looking at you:)  
Esme, do you find it hard to take care of the kids? If you could have a job,  
what would it be?  
Carlisle, if you could figure out a way to get Esme pregnant, would you (if  
she said it was fine)?  
All of you, if you could become human again, at the cost of loosing  
everything you have now, would you?  
Yea! Thankies!  
Your biggest fan,  
squekydog!  
P.S. Sorry about the toughies! I must know!

Dear Squekydog,

**Edward: YES! I would love to know what she was thinking! Altough, I wouldn't want to upset her**

**Alice: I'M HER FAVE! YAY! I have too many clothes to count. And, I just give them to Goodwill!**

**Jasper: I have gotten better at restraining my self. No, that's weird.**

**Emmett: Hmmmmmm… playing GH 3 or football.**

**Rosalie: Oh god yes! Hell-ooo it's Emmett we're talking about. He tackled one guy at the mall this one time when he asked me for my number. Jeez, I have never gone to the mall with him since!**

**Esme: Yes, it's crazy. I'd probably be an interior designer. Or top model.**

**Carlisle: Ummm… Hey jadedragon618 has your cousin died? I think Squekydog is channeling her spirit.**

**Me: No, sadly. JK cousin, ILY (sometimes)**

**All: OMG YES! **

**Love,**

**The Cullens**

-------------------------

Dear Edward,

When I first read New Moon I cried when You left. If you hadn't come back I  
think I might have gone to South America and tracked you down. Now, my  
question. What would you have done if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff, and  
she moved back with her mom in Florida? When you came back, I mean. Yeah stupid  
question and even dumber situation. Sorry!

Love,

Water-Lyly  
P.S. You're awesome. I wish I knew you as a person and not just on paper.

Dear Water-Lyly,

Hmm… everyone says they'd have gone to South America. I would probably track her down in Florida and give her anything she wants (almost).

Love,

Edward  
-------------------------

Well, that's the real end. Sorry for the long update, as usual. No questions this weeks from my cousin, but I'll have something next week. Until then!


	11. Chapter 11

Cullen Fan Mail

Cullen Fan Mail

Got a question for the Cullens?

Wanna find out where Emmett works out?

Think Rosalie is the same girl you saw in front of Victoria's Secret?

Dying to know where Alice really shops?

Well ask them!

It's as simple as... replying!

When other people are answering (other than the person you wrote it to) it will be bold

Disclaimer: (place witty disclaimer sentence here) Oh and btw… I don't own

I absolutely had to post this question first. CrystalDragon7991 threatened to get the Volturi on me:

Dear Carlisle, Edward, Emmet, and Jasper,

Why the flip is it so important to have the most fan girls? I think Alice and  
Bella rock the most, personally.  
(BTW, Jacob stinks like wet cat--yeah, that's right, a CAT!)

Hopefully b/c I really want to be part of this fic,  
CrystalDragon791

Dear CrystalDragon7991,

**Emmett: Edward thinks he's soooooo great because he has lots of fan girls. So, I said I had more! AND what about Rosalie?? **

**Jasper: Ya really, and it gets soooooo annoying because he's all like 'I HAVE MORE FAN GIRLS HAHAHAHA!!' But I do have more than Emmett.**

**Emmett: HEY!**

**Carlisle: No one thinks I have fan girls. I honestly don't care! But I do have fan girls.**

**Edward: Actually, I do have the most and I'm not like that! GOD!!**

Love,

The Cullens Boys

**Emmett: HEY WE ARE MEN NOT BOYS!!**

**Me: boys cough boys**

Love,

The Cullen errrr men?

Dear Carlisle:

I'm a vampire right now, and when I was human I used to LOVE cookies, I would  
hate not to eat them again so, do you think that vampires can get sick or  
something like that if they eat human food??

Love,  
Vale-

Dear Vale:

YOU'RE A VAMPIRE NOW?? HOW?? WHO?? WHAT?? WHERE?? WHEN?? WHY?? WHO CHANGED YOU?? WERE YOU DYING?? And you can eat the cookie, but you won't taste the goodness and you'll puke it up later

Love,

Carlisle

Dear Cullens (AKA All of you):  
Edward:  
I am so a fangirl of yours. My friend likes Jake better. But she is WRONG!  
...Oh yeah, back on topic... Can we hang out sometime? Bring Bella too. We can  
listen to Linkin Park together... love that band. And can you teach me how to  
play the piano?  
Bella:  
I know that technically you aren't a Cullen (yet), but...oh well. Did you  
know that we're blushing buddies? And faints-at-sight-of-blood buddies? And  
so-clumsy-it's-like-being-disabled buddies too? And that we both have red in  
our hair in the sun? I did.  
Emmett:  
You rock. I am so a fangirl of yours. Can I have a bear hug? Better yet, can  
you sign my teddy bear? Can you drive me around in the Jeep? Pretty please?  
-puppy dog eyes-  
Rosalie:  
I used to hate you. But now I don't think you're so bad. Can you give me a  
makeover? Please? (Notice that I'm not asking to be a vamp-that means we can  
be buds, right?)  
Jasper:  
I love you! I am so a fangirl of yours. I love the Southern accent. People  
say it's close to the Newfoundland accent. I'm from Newfoundland. How cool is  
that? Oh, and could you tutor me in history?  
Alice:  
Let's go SHOPPING! And can you give me a pedi? And can the nail polish be red  
like you gave Bella that one time? Oh, and I just realized that you may be mad  
at me for Jasper's letter. I didn't mean it like that. I swear. And did you  
know we're both vertically challenged? How cool is that?  
Carlisle:  
I love the English accent. I am so a fangirl of yours. You rock. But I think  
you need to loosen up just a tad. Unless someone's bleeding. Then being calm  
and controlled is a GOOD thing. Can I see that big wooden cross that your dad  
made? It sounds cool.  
Esme:  
I think you are cool. But we don't see very much of you. Can you teach me how  
to cook? I know you can. Even though you don't eat. So can you teach me? I  
found a recipe for rabbit blood cookies the other day. We can try to make  
that.  
Lots of love from:  
TheCullensOwnMySoul

Dear TheCullensOwnMySoul,

**Edward: WHAT NOW ANOTHER FANGIRL. Your friend is weird! I love Linkin Park!! Umm… maybe we can. Do you have a piano?**

**Bella: Wow. You do sound a lot like me. We should hang out!**

**Emmett: SHE'S MY FANGIRL TOO!! Umm… I'll sign the bear but I'm not sure about the jeep or hug.**

**Rose: SURE!! And Alice wants to help! YAY! See I DO have human friends!**

**Jasper: FANGIRL!! Newfoundland accent?? Weird. Sure!**

**Alice: Vertically challenged?? Are you calling me short?? I DO NOT LIKE BEING CALLED SHORT!! YAY SHOPPING!! **

**Carlisle: Whoo fangirl! LOOSEN UP?! WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?? NOOOOOOO YOU CAN"T SEE THE CROSS!! IT"S TO SPECIAL FOR YOU!**

**Esme: Rabbit blood cookies?? I don't like eating rabbits much, I like deer and grizzly bears. But, it's been a while since I've eaten rabbit. Sure!**

Love,

The Cullens

Dear Edward,  
Has any fans tried to attack you?  
saphiradragon88

Dear SaphiraDragon88,

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! THE FAN GIRLS!! KINGS ISLAND!! PUNK'D!! NOT THE FIRST VIOLINS!! SOPRANOS!!

sobs

Love,

Edward

Dear Bella,  
Did it ever occur to you that your initials spell B.S? Just wondering.  
Johanna

Dear Johanna,

Actually they spell IMS. And soon they will spell IMC

Love,

IMS!!

Dear Alice  
you r my favorite vampire. I love u so much. The only difference between us  
is that I'm a little bit more depressing but anyway. Here's my question. How  
do u feel about Jacob? We only truly get Edwards and Bella's feelings. The only  
reason I asked is because I love both of u guys. I love vampires and I love Jacob.  
Only Jacob.  
Waiting to exhale,  
Furevrunique2450  
P.S. Tell absolutely everyone in the Cullen family that I said HI and that I  
love them.

Dear Furevrunique2450,

Jacob's okay I guess. I don't really think of how much I like or dislike him. He doesn't bother me or help me very much (sometimes), he's just there. They all say HI back. And Edward, Emmett, and jasper, want to know whose fangirl you are.

Love,

Alice

Dear Edward

MUAHAHA BE AFRAID I'm BAACK!! YES!! JADE (ME AUHTOR) SAID I COULD ASK ANY QUESTIONI WANT!! Have you have therapy yet? This is ItachiEdwardZuko again with more traumatizing questions!

Edward:

If Bella was an ice cream sandwich, which way would you eat her?

Love,

The author's dearest cousin

Rina (aka ItachiEdwardZuko)

Rina:

DO YOU ENJOY SENIDNG ME TO THERAPY?? WHY ON EARTH DOES THE AUTHOR DO THIS TO ME?? SHE IS NOT AND ICE CREAM SANDWICH!! EVEN IF SHE WAS, I WOULD NOT EAT HER!! UGH!! JADE AND I NEED TO HAVE A NICE LONG CHAT ABOUT THE KIND OF QUESTIONS SHE POSTS!! HONESTLY!

Edward (notice I said Rina and not dear Rina. I also said Edward and not love Edward)

**HAHAHA!! I love you Rina!! No, her name is not really Rina and my name is not really Jade. We just call each other that. Again, I'm super sorry with the extreme delay of the chapter. Actually I have an overflow of reviews, so if you have a super traumatizing question (Rina) please post it. Otherwise, you can review; I'd just prefer not questions, because I have an overload and need to catch up. Also Happy spring break, and unfortunately I will not be able to post because I will be in Houston. WHOT! I also have a new idea, but I'm unsure if I want to do it. Also, if you plan on reading my next fic, one of the letters in this chapter holds HUGE and I mean GIMORMOUS clues to my fic. LOLZ!! **


	12. Chapter 12

Cullen Fan Mail

**Cullen Fan Mail**

**Got a question for the Cullens?**

**Wanna find out where Emmett works out?**

**Think Rosalie is the same girl you saw in front of Victoria's Secret?**

**Dying to know where Alice really shops?**

**Well ask them!**

**It's as simple as... replying!**

**When other people are answering (other than the person you wrote it to) it will be bold**

**Disclaimer: Oh honestly if I owned Twilight would I be sitting here writing this sad excuse for a story? **

--

Dear Alice,  
You're my favorite too! Where do you buy your shoes? Do you have trouble  
finding ones that fit? I wear a size 6 wide and they are SOO hard to find.

Short people will rule the world!  
--MonSolo23

Dear MonSolo23,

Psh!! I'm here favorite and not you Edward so take that!! I buy my shoes from the online coach store. Or Nordstrom's and Bloomingdale's. I think if you shop online, you can, find you size. Have you tried 6 and a half?

Love,

Alice

--

Dear Bella,  
When Edward went to the Volturi, If you hadn't gotten there in time, what  
would you have done?  
And, To Alice: HI! You're probably my third favorite character cuz i have to  
put Edward and Bella first! ILY!  
And, finally, Edward: Hello! I'm just wondering... What color are your eyes  
today?

Love,  
Water-Lyly  
P.S. You guys are all eternally awesome

Dear Water-Lyly,

**Bella: Kill myself. Literally. I can't live without him.**

**Alice: Bella I wouldn't let you kill yourself. THIRD!! WHY?? WHAT HAS EDWARD EVER DONE FOR YOU!! DOES **_**HE **_**GREAT FASHION TIPS?? HUH?? **

**Edward: Ahahaha Alice is now pissed off because she's third and I'm first! And they are topaz today. Bella I wouldn't let you kill yourself either.**

Love,

Edward, Bella, And Alice

--

Oh, Bella, I'm sorry, didn't mean to offend! :) I sprained my ankle over  
spring break, cuz I was so sorry. Hehe, just kidding.

Wow, Edward, you are so devoted. Man, my first bf just broke up with  
me...says he wasn't good enough, something was different, too far away... I  
still miss him. You think he'll climb through my window? Maybe not... I had  
something else I wanted to ask you...maybe I'll remember.

Emmett, maybe you should look at the majority of the fanmail. Edward has WAY  
more fangirls. And Jasper, too. Well, maybe you all have the same amount, just  
at varying degrees of "I LOVE YOU"-ness. :)

OH! EDWARD! I REMEMBERED! If the only way to keep Jacob away from Bella (And  
she didn't want him, at all.) was to change her, would you do it? Why or why  
not?

Okay, I think I'm done.

Love, Ali

Dear Ali,

**Bella: It's OK. Ouch I hope your ankle gets better.**

**Edward: I love Bella too much to leave. I don't think you should encourage him to climb through a window. You'll get over him soon, I promise. Tanya did. Then again, we never did**_** really**_** go out. Hmmmmmm.**

**Emmett: Soooooo! Just because my fangirls don't email me doesn't mean THEY have more. My fangirls respect that I have many important things to do. Most of them involve riding my jeep! You're off my fangirl list!**

**Edward: No, because I would find a better way, a way that didn't involve biting and injecting poison into my fiancée. I would evidently punch him in the face and tell him to back off. But that's a bit psychotic, don't you think? **

**Love,**

**Bella, Emmett, And Edward**

--

Dear Jasper,  
You are the best vampire ever! Edward and Emmett don't even compare (sorry  
guys) you are amazing; Alice is super duper lucky to have you. Anywho...I was  
reading a fan fiction about ya'll going to family therapy, and it said that  
before Bella became Alice's "personal doll" you were. I was wondering, is that  
true? and if you don't get my question, here it is in plain English: has Alice  
ever dressed you in women's clothes? Even if the answer is yes, you'd still be  
my favorite. One more thing, do you have a Texas accent? Cause that'd be  
HOT!!

Love,

panda-and-twilight-lover  
P.S. I'm from Texas too! Yay for Texas!!

Dear Panda-and-twilight-lover,

PSH!! OH YA FANGIRL!! WHAT NOW EDWARD!! GO DEFLAT YOUR BIG HEAD!! Alice says she knows. NOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE COACH SHOES!! NOOOOOOOOOO shudders and goes into a spasm I do have bit of a southern-y accent, I guess.

Love,

Jasper

--

Dear Alice (hottest vampire ever to die!),  
Do you ever wish that you could go to the beach on a sunny day?  
And if you could, would you where a lame one piece, or a smoking hot bikini?  
Love,  
fanguy25

Dear Fanguy25,

PSH FANGUY!! ROSALIE AND BELLA CAN'T COMPETE!! OHHH TAKE THAT!! I would die (literally) to go to the beach on a sunny day. Ummmm…… I don't know and I don't feel comfortable answering that. (And jasper says he's going to rip your head off. And Emmett says you have brain damage if you don't think Rosalie is prettier than me. He's off my Christmas list.)

Love,

Alice who now has fan guys

--

Dear Jasper (Jazzy),  
I know you have heard of the Twilight movie, so have you seen your  
character? He looks so horrible! What are your views on him? Oh, and just so  
you guys know, I'm...EDWARD'S FANGIRL!  
Luv Kasey Elizabeth

P.S. Tell everyone hello, and tell Edward and Bella congrats on the  
engagement!

Dear Kasey Elizabeth,

I think he's OK. Not the best, but he could be sooo much worse. WHAT?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Edward says thanks. Go stuff your head Edward.

Jasper (only Alice and my fangirls can call me Jazzy)

--

Dear Edward,  
your pretty cool. I wish I had as many fangirls as you do. But what I wanted  
to ask is can you read Animal thoughts or just human ones.  
From,  
fanguy25

Dear Fanguy25,

Thanks. **NO ONE** has as many fangirls as I do. And be oh so very glad you don't NOOOOOOOO THE FANGIRLS!! NOOOOOOOOOO!! THE DROP ZONE ISN"T SAFE!! sobs Hmm…. That's a very good question; I haven't really tried reading animal minds. I bet I can though. That's a great question!

Love,

Edward

--

Edward when you answered Kirbystar5 question this chap Bella said no,  
straight away you, YOU go UM... first. WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN! WHAT ARE  
YOU HIDING!? YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT, YOU HAVE A PHOTOGRAPHIC  
MEMORY. Don't deny your hiding something.  
if you love Bella you will tell the truth.  
Sorry for the caps, but the public deserve to know!

Also have any of you got any secrets you have been hiding, Trust me I will  
pester you to another death if you lie and I WILL KNOW IF YOU LIE!

Me-Myself-and-Me.

p.s I love Alice; I have the same name as you YAY!!

Dear Me-Myself-and-Me,

What's wrong with going um?? People say um a lot. It's sort of reflex-ive. I said um because it was such a stupid and silly question. I'm NOT HIDING ANYTHING!! NO MATTER WHAT JADE, KOKO, and ALL THE OTHER FANGIRLS SAY!! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!! NOOOOOOO!! I do love Bella and I am telling the truth!

Edward

--

Dear Carlisle,  
I have one thing to say...  
You did not answer my question.  
If you could figure out a way to get Esme pregnant (considering she's a  
vampire, if it makes this sound less weird), would you?  
This is not a perverted question like you made it sound.  
You're a doctor for heaven's sake! This should not be awkward for you. Be  
professional.  
And no! I'm not channeling anyone's spirit!  
It's not even a similar question; at least she's your wife.  
Anyways... Sorry about the rant, it's just that I must know!  
Please answer this time :(  
To everyone else, thanks for responding! And sorry for being weird, that's  
just me!  
Your wonderful fan whom you love!,  
squekydog!

Dear Squekydog,

Mayyyybbbbbbbeeeeee, if Esme umm… wanted me to? I'm a surgeon, there's a difference! I AM being professional; it's just a bit weird! And surprisingly, Edward asked me the same thing yesterday. Hmmm….

Love,

Carlisle

(Sorry for saying you were channeling Rina's spirit)

--

Dear Cullen Family,

Alice, you are my FAVORITE, sorry Emmett, Alice is my fave, but you're cool  
too. Since you give your old clothes to Goodwill, the people who get the  
clothes are probably really grateful for the expensive clothes! Anyway, my  
question for Alice is, would you like another shopping partner? Carlisle, do  
you think that you would be willing to let your children start a family of  
vamps, so that there will someday be more vegetarian vamps that human eating  
ones? Emmett, you should try playing the Wii. It's so much fun and you can  
play with the entire family if you force them to play with you. Rosalie, can  
you please be like a sister to Bella when she is a vampire? It would mean a  
lot to her. Jasper, do you think that Bella will have a hard time adjusting to  
the Cullen diet? Esme, you should start thinking of starting a home designing  
business. Edward, Bella won't regret being a vampire. Don't worry, it will be  
fine. She'll be with you for eternity and you know that both of you want that.  
Finally, Bella, you are soon to be a Cullen and congratulations! I know you  
and Edward will forever be happy! Also, how did everyone take the news of your  
engagement?

Love, sakurahanaalice

Dear sakurahanaalice,

**Alice: Hmm, they probable will. YAY!! I'm her favorite!! OHHHH SHOPPING PARTNER!! **

**Carlisle: Hmm… maybe. That's a good idea, actually. But Emmett's afraid of new people.**

**Emmett: I AM NOT!! THAT ONE GIRL WAS TOTALLY CREEPY THOUGH!! I have played Wii, its awesome!! I like boxing the best. Haha, we play every Friday together!**

**Rosalie: Alright, I'll do that now. Sisters tell sisters stuff right? I'll tell her some advice: DON'T MAKE A BAD CHOICE!**

**Jasper: That's tough. I've talked about it with Carlisle; he said she could go two ways. She could either be as bloodthirsty as we were, or she could be so repelled by blood, that she won't drink it, since she hated it as a human.**

**Esme: You know I should! All I do is sit at home all day and yell at Emmett to get of the Wii.**

**Edward: I know, but I'm afraid. Rosalie's been talking to Bella a lot lately and I have no idea what it's about.**

**Bella: Thanks! And, everyone took it OK-ish. Except for Renee. She cried a bit, but was OK n the end. And Edward, she was helping Alice and me pick out a wedding dress. Relax.**

**Love,**

**Bella and the Cullens **

--

Once again, another Cullen Fan mail! Sorry for the wait, I had spring break. But, now I'm back. And soon (I hope) I'm going to start a new fic. Couple of chapters left, and I promise to get to all of the questions, I have tons. Also, for my cousin Rina, I would like to take a moment and mourn for the death of Uchiha Itachi (from Naruto). He recently died, and was Rina's favorite character, and I sort of annoyed her about it, I'm sorry Rina . So for Itachi, rest in peace.

Anyway, as always keep reviewing, and look for more hints about my new fic!

Jade


	13. UGH LAST AN I SWEAR!

I apologize for about the ninth time now about he lateness of my fic

I apologize for about the ninth time now about he lateness of my fic. I've had massive amounts of work to do at the end of the school year. And to top it all of, I'm moving soon. That means, I'm going to have to discontinue Cullen Fan Mail. Yes you can still send letters that just means I won't be posting new chapters any time soon. I may just post one or two, but they will take a while. I will try and re-continue my fic ASAP. Sadly, this also, means I have to put off my Kings Island fan fic, something that has been very hard for me. I will try post as much as I can, but for the meantime I'm going to take a break from fan fiction. Thanks sooooooooooooooooo much to all my readers. The number of reviews and questions overwhelms me, and I apologize to anyone who has not yet gotten their question posted.

Dude, you're probably thinking "What the hell was that about" LOL! This pretty much means I'm moving soon so I won't be on fan fiction for like, another couple of months.

I still have 2 more Twilight fan fics in mind, but I want to get Cullen Fan Mail over with. I promised 12 chapters, but I'm already on chapter 11, and I had planned on doing an epilogue, but I want to get all the questions asked. So I ask that you not ask anymore questions, or they won't get answered. Sorry!

Au Revoir !


	14. Chapter 14

Cullen Fan Mail's BACK

Cullen Fan Mail's BACK!

YAY!! I have finally moved into my new house! I will start posting up chapters ASAP, I have tons of messages. If this goes well, I may make a second one. I also have some ideas for other fics so keep watching.

Onwards!

**Cullen Fan Mail**

**Got a question for the Cullens?**

**Wanna find out where Emmett works out?**

**Think Rosalie is the same girl you saw in front of Victoria's Secret?**

**Dying to know where Alice really shops?**

**Well ask them!**

**It's as simple as... replying!**

**When other people are answering (other than the person you wrote it to) it will be bold**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, BD would have been out by now, and Jacob would have died. LOL**

--

Dear Emmett,

Yes there are sane people in my family.  
I just have one question...Do you know any  
Single guys?

Love,  
MsZuberu16

Dear MsZuberu16,

I find that EXTREMELY hard to believe. Do I know any single guys?? There always Jacob Black.

Love Emmett

--

Dear Cullen Family,  
-squeal- Holy God, Emmett I just want to say you are YUMMY! And I am working  
with another fanfic author/Emmett lover to start a fan club.  
Edward, you are officially second-hottest-man-on-earth. Emmett beat you. So  
sorry.  
Carlisle, I dare you to listen to The Killing Lights by AFI and then SING IT  
on Alice's Karaoke machine!!  
Alice, you DO have a Karaoke machine, right? You rock, and I heart you like  
a sista frum anutha mista!  
Lots of love (especially to Mr. Yummy over there)  
I.Write.Sins.Not.Tragedies

Dear I.Write.Sins.Not.Tragedies,

Emmett: HAHAHA FAN GIRL. I LOVETHE NICKNAME Rosalie slaps him upside the head Owwwwwwww.

Edward: Second?? SECOND?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO Bella slaps him upside the head too. And then she hurts her hand. Again.

Alice: -SQUEAL- OF COURSE!! KARAOKE NIGHT!! And I heart you too!

Carlisle: I'll do it. A Cullen never backs down from a dare.

Love,

Alice, Mr. Yummy (??). Edward and Carlisle

--

Dear Cullens,  
Emmett, you are scrumptious, and I heart you. Not just love, HEART.  
Edward: Jacob Black must die. Does it make you uncomfortable being able to  
hear you family members thoughts when they get . . . "excited", let's call it  
. . . around their spouses?  
Question for Jasper: if you were gay, would you rather hook up with Edward,  
Emmett, or Carlisle? Don't give me any excuses, either - just answer the  
question. I KNOW I'm not the only girl out there wondering.  
Yours in Emmett-obsession,  
I.Write.Sins.Not.Tragedies

Dear I.Write.Sins.Not.Tragedies,

Emmett: Thank You!! FINALLY A FAN GIRL!!

Me/Author: Did you just admit to having only one fangirl??

Edward: Finally someone understands. Could you _please _tell Emmett to control his thoughts?

Jasper: Edward. Because until Bella came to Forks. We all thought he was gay. Or Carlisle, since he was called gay once too.

Me/Author: I think that's an icon. Oh, and that was my friend Peyton who thought he was gay.

Love,

Emmett, Edward, and Carlisle

--

Dear Alice,

You're my favorite vampire! I think you're very... erm... good looking. (Yes,  
this was written by a girl.) (I did not use the term "hot" because I try not  
to sound like the average hormonal teenager. I like to think I have some  
degree of intelligence.) I think you and Jasper are a nice couple, though!  
(Plus, I'm fairly certain you're straight.)

Cullens: You do know most of the human world knows about you, right? Because  
someone wrote a book about you. Three, actually. And at least two more will be  
published... (Breaking Dawn and Midnight Sun) Of course, you probably did  
know, but I thought I should make sure you do... Incidentally, do you have any  
idea how Stephenie found out about you?

Sincerely,  
BloodyHellRose,  
aka InsanityIncarnate

**(A/N: I apologize for cutting your letter. This was mainly for the Cullens.)**

Dear BloodyHellRose,

Alice: Why thank you. That's, err, very kind.

Edward: Someone wrote a book about us?? Emmett, what on earth did you tell the FBI this time??

Emmett: I'm SOOOOOOOO FAMOUS!! I'LL HAVE EVEN MORE FANGIRLS NOW!!

Carlisle: Three books? I had no idea. I should talk to this Stephenie. Is it that one called Twilight? Bella and Alice are just dying to go see that movie.

Rosalie: Is that why we are being pestered to answer these questions?

Emmett: No, because the author threatened to take my Wii and paint my room pink if I didn't play along.

Love,

Alice, Rose, Edward, Emmett, and Carlisle

--

Dear Cullens,  
I'm sorry if my English isn't perfect, I'm French.  
But that's not the point. I want to say one thing: I hate you all! Because of  
you, I have no life anymore! I only think about you (especially Edward!). Do  
you believe it? I'm in love with a vampire who lives in America and wish to  
have vampires friends! My friends think I'm crazy. (I think they're scared of  
me!)  
Plus, I was told that I was like Bella and Alice. I didn't think it was ever  
possible.  
Well, Bella I'm like you physically (well almost...) I'm also clumsy and I  
suck at sports! (we currently play at volleyball... oh my god). I love music  
and books too! (I must say Pride and Prejudice is wonderful!)  
Alice, I am as crazy as you! And I'm proud of it! I love shopping too but...  
for books... sorry. Although shopping for clothes are nice too but not too  
much.  
Oh Bella, I have to say that you disappointed me in Eclipse with Jacob. How  
could you love him when you have the most wonderful person next to you? I  
mean look at him!! Every girl would die for him!  
Hey, would you like to move in France after Bella and Edward's marriage? Look  
for a Melody! (That's my name)  
Love you all... uh no, hate you all...  
Wants-a-life

PS: Edward, you're so wonderful, stay like you are, it's perfect!  
PPS: Love you Emmett (you're too funny!), Jasper (You're perfect for Alice!),  
Rosalie (I'm sure that you're very nice!), Carlisle (Sexy doctor, you rock!),  
and Esme (What is like to have children, now?) too!

Dear Wants-a-life,

Carlisle: What I still don't get is how you all found out about us. Wait, it's because you read those books didn't you. Oh god. The Volturi won't be happy.

Alice: We should totally go shopping sometime! CALL ME!!

Edward: MORE FANGIRLS.

Me/Author: Dude, she technically never said she's a fangirl of you.

Emmett: That's all I get?? That I'm funny?? Rosalie smacks him upside the head again QUIT IT. MOMMY ROSIE HURT ME!!

Jasper: Thanks.

Rosalie: You're sure that I'm very nice?? WHAT"S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?? It's something that Stephenie wrote isn't it?

Carlisle: Umm… thanks. She thinks I rock.

Esme: It's nice. Until Emmett starts whining, Jasper starts having an emotional breakdown, and Edward is halfway between stopping himself from eating Bella and torturing Emmett.

Love,

The Cullens

--

Dear Cullen family,

Yay!! Edward who's your therapist? We might have the same one! Ok now that  
that's out of my system, Cullen family, have you seen some of the fan fic's on  
here?! I'm mean some of the pairings are weird! Like there's a couple with  
Edward/Jake! And Edward/Carlisle! That's just wrong don't ya think?! Oh well. Oh Esme still envy you!

Love,  
Gracelalia

Dear Gracelalia,

Edward: Since Jade is putting me through this kind of torture, she has offered to give me free therapy.

Carlisle: So not only this Stephenie writes stories about us, but random strangers too?

Me: Umm...ya why do you think I do this.

Carlisle: You said this was research. You never mentioned this in the contract!

Me: Oops. Must have slipped my mind.

Alice: You know, I could sooo see Edward/Carlisle right now. I AHVETHE MOST AMAZING IDEA FOR A FAN FIC!!

Edward: Oh lord. Look what you have done.

Esme: Thanks. I guess.

Love,

Some of the Cullens

--

Dear Cullen Family (including Bella of course),  
I love you all so much. You're all awesome.  
Edward- You're such a nice guy . Do you think that everyone has someone that's truly meant for them to love? I love you and all but you were an idiot for  
leaving Bella.  
Emmett- How did your muscles get so huge? Were they like that when you were  
human also?  
Jasper- Doesn't it get exhausting having to deal with everyone's emotions? If  
you tried couldn't you turn your power off?  
Carlisle- I know that you have been around human blood for almost 400 years  
now, but what would you do if you drank human blood?  
Alice- Can I go shopping with you?  
Rosalie- Are you getting used to the fact that Bella wants to become a  
vampire?  
Esme- You're such a caring motherly person. Were you like that in your human  
life also?  
Bella- Why don't you just punch Mike Newton straight in the face? Everyone  
knows he deserves it.

From Pro- vampire, werewolf hater (Edward Lover, but not going to gush over  
him because he is Bella's and just wants to be friends)  
edwardcullenlover454

Dear Edwardcullenlover454,

Edward: WOW, a fangirl who's not trying to ask me for my number. Yes, I do actually.

Emmett: They were pretty big when I was human, but not as big as this. I guess it was just the vampire venom.

Jasper: I have tried to turn it off. Especially when Emmett thinks it's "fun" to annoy Jazzy with it.

Carlisle: I probably would not like it one bit. There is a slight possibility of getting somewhat ill, but that's not very likely.

Alice: SQUEE MORSHOPPING BUDDIES!!

Rosalie: Somewhat. Good thing we have all eternity, because I will need it. It's going to take big amount of time.

Esme: I was very caring. Maybe not as much as I am now, but enough to try and take my life over my first born.

Edward: Bella would not do that. It's rude. She would ask me to do it for her.

Love,

The Cullens

--

Dear Cullens,  
You are the best family ever. Can u make room for one more? I'll give u a  
cookie with bear blood in it. Anyway I would like to make it known that JASPER  
is the SEXIEST vampire alive. He has the rest of ya'll beat by a long shot.  
Alice I would love to go shopping with you but I will refuse to go to a few  
stores, you r tied with Jasper for my favorite vampire.  
Edward and Bella I'm so happy u two r 2gether cuz that means I can have  
Jacob. Jasper might be the sexiest vampire but Jacob is the sexiest werewolf  
EVER!  
Rosalie and Emmett u guys r awesome 2. Rosalie I don't no how u can stand to  
have such a childish husband. And I'm not sure if this is true cuz I haven't  
read any of the series in forever but Emmett you better watch out cuz in every  
fiction I read bout ur family they make u sound like sum kind of horny  
bastard. Not saying that u rilly r.  
Thanx fer listenin,  
rillywantstomoveinwiththecullens

Dear rillywantstomoveinwiththecullens

Jasper: FANGIRL!! Bear blood cookie. I wonder how it would taste. And I kind of don't wanna know where you got them.

Alice: MORE SHOPPING BUDDIES!! Wow, I should just host a big shopping party.

Edward: You choose the wolf over me?? And Jasper?? What have I done to deserve this!

Rosalie: Emmett is sometimes childish. And he's not always horny and annoying. But most of the time he is.

Love,

Rosalie, Edward, Alice, and Jasper

--

Dear Cullens,  
I love you guys will u adopt me? I'm not much trouble. Anyway:  
Carlisle and Esme: You guys are the best parents. Sometimes I wish you were mine.  
JASPER! I love you so much. You r so sexy but don't worry I would never try  
and steal you from Alice cause Alice is so awesomely cool! And I love her just as  
much as I love Jasper.  
Edward and Emmett: I think you guys are awesome but I need to know if you guys are as horny as people make u guys sound. I'm not saying u r but hey I can't help what people write. Tell Bella and Rosalie I love them 2.  
Your biggest 12 year old fan that really wants to become a vampire friend,  
cullenluver1506.

Dear Cullenluver1506,

Carlisle: I wish we could adopt everyone who asked us to, that would be a huge family. But taking care of 5 vampires and 1 human is already enough. And thanks.

Jasper: I'm starting to have more fangirls than Edward!

Alice: SQUEE!! THANKS YOU'RE AWESOMELY COOL TO!!

Edward: What?! I'm not horny!! It's all Emmett and occasionally Jasper!! What kind of fan fictions do you read?!

Emmett: Well special Ed I've read some horny Edward ones too.

Rosalie: THAT'S ALL I GET?? I'M SO TIRED OF BEING NEGLECTED IN FAN FICTIONS!! GOD!

Love,

The Cullens

--

Dear Edward and Jasper,

It's me again! Edward do you enjoy reading very much? In which case which  
genre of book do you enjoy reading? Jasper, does Alice dress you up when  
Bella's not a round? You are by far my most favorite vampire? I love the way  
you seem to have some mysterious type of ... depth to you. My twin's name is  
Jasper too! I'm jealous. I suggested that we switch names (because no one would  
ever know...mwahahahhah!!)  
Love, Your pal, Reading is life.7

Dear Read is life.7,

Edward: Reading is nice when I like to relax. I guess I like mysteries the best.

Jasper: HOW DID YOU FIND OUT!! I _KNEW _SOMEONE WAS TAKING PICTURES! I've gotten more fangirls than Edward in this chapter. Your twin's name is Jasper. That's cool. I never really liked the name Jasper. I mean I like it, but sometimes I need something darker like… AXEL!!

Love,

Edward and… Axel

--

Dear Edward and Jasper,

Can I have some tips on how to annoy Emmett? It seems like he annoys you guys a lot but I don't understand why. You guys are amazing!

Love,

Edward Cullen's Elf Friend

P.S. Don't worry, Emmett. I love you too. I always bother the people I love!

Dear Edward Cullen's Elf Friend,

Edward: Emmett's always pranking me and making fun of Bella. I suggest you dye Rosalie hair pink or paint his Jeep pink.

Axel/Jasper: Make him go shopping with Alice

Love,

Edward and Axel/Jasper

--

Dear Edward,

Has Jacob ever thought about having "you now what" with Bella, and if  
you could kill Jacob and Bella wanted you too, how would you do it?  
ALL the Cullen males: I am a fangirl, and Edward has more fan girls. Oh and Jacob must die.

Love,

Rachelxvampirexlikesxblood

Dear Rachelxvampirexlikesxblood,

Yes he has, and it's extremely unpleasant. Especially in the tent when he was so close to Bella. I would shove him off a cliff, then rip him to shreds, then feed those shreds to rabid animals.

Me: That's a bit intense, don't you think Edward?

Jasper: I sooo have more fangirls. This chapter proves it!

Carlisle: I have about two fangirls. Plus, I don't need fangirls to make me happy or prove I'm a man, or whatever else they bicker about.

Emmett: Nothing can withstand the awesome of EMMETT CULLEN. I have sooo many more fan girls, it's just that they are too busy making their shrine to me to come out and say it.

Me: Ya, okay Emmett, keep telling yourself that. EDWARD FANGIRL MDOE!!

Love,

The Cullens Boys

--

Dear Alice,  
What do you recommend for people trying to be like you? -cough-LIKE ME-cough-

Love,

AlicePixie

Dear AlicePixie,

I TOTALLY LOVE YOUR NICKNAME!! First of all, you should type in all caps. It enhances the effect of hyper activeness. Secondly, force everyone to go shopping with you. Lastly, poke people with your awesomely spiky hair. Then, rinse and repeat.

LOVE,

ALICE!!

--

Well, that's another Cullen Fan Mail. I know I said I would stop by chapter 12, but I have too many fan letters too ignore. I apologize if it seemed like I came in a lot, but that might occur more often, and if it does, then I will go by Jade. And also, I apologize if I offended anyone with my humor. I don't think anything was that bad. If you haven't already figure out, this is very OOC. Also, I have a fangirl poll on my page. Please vote!

Don't forget to review!

--Jade--


	15. Ninjas?

Cullen Fan Mail

**Cullen Fan Mail**

**Got a question for the Cullens?**

**Wanna know who**_** really**_** has the most fangirls?**

**Ever asked Rosalie if she dyed her hair?**

**Dying to go shopping with Alice?**

**How does Jasper feel about his powers?**

**Well ask them!**

**It's as simple as... replying!**

**Disclaimer: I err… don't own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does looks at lawyer**

--

Dear Edward and Jasper,  
Edward, you are so much better than Jacob. I don't know why Bella was  
attracted to the mutt anyways. He's rude, self-centered, forceful, and often  
uncaring. You are way better. But sadly, I like Jasper more than you!  
You rock Jazz! Don't listen to Emmett or Edward; I'll always be your  
fangirl. WOOHOO!

Love,  
HopelesslyJazz'sFangirl

Dear HopelesslyJazz'sFangirl,

Edward: At least fans like me more than Jacob. Since when have there been so many Jasper fangirls? And why? What's so great about Jasper? What does he have that I don't Sobs

Jasper: FANGIRLS!! Oh and there's a lot I have that you don't. Fangirl DO love me more. Emmett fork over the cash.

Love,

Jasper and a very emo Edward

--

Dear Cullens (and Bella),  
First of all I'd like to say that I am a big Jasper fan! I am a fan of all  
the Cullen guys but Jasper is just awesome! Not one of those crazy people who  
want to steal him away from Alice or anything, I think him and Alice make a good  
couple.  
Edward: In Twilight it seems like you have a little bit of multi-personality  
disorder. You know with the whole field thing. One minute your like,' I love  
you Bella.' and the next minute you were knocking down trees and scaring the  
living crap out of her. What was that about?! I'm not trying to be rude but  
you really did scare the living daylights out of her.  
Alice: Hahaha your awesome! I love you and Jasper as that silent couple and  
though Jasper sometimes seems shy you have enough personality for the both of you! I meant that in a good way! Could we go shopping sometime?!  
Jasper: OMC! YOU ARE AWESOME TOO! Alright, my question for you is: What would you do if Emmett stole your confederate uniform? Or do you still have that  
uniform? These are the questions that haunt me...  
Emmett: Emmett I love you! You're like the big brother I never knew or had!  
Okay, I was wondering what you did in your spare time other than hunted. Do  
you play any sports? OH DO YOU LIKE PAINT BALL?  
Rosalie: Rosalie, I used to hate you but after reading Eclipse I realized  
that you were just misunderstood. I was wondering how you actually got over  
what happened to you.  
Esme: Oh Esme! You remind me so much of my mom! What is it like to be married to run a house filled with seven people (soon to be eight)? Is it difficult?  
Carlisle: As we all know you're a doctor, but have you ever studied in anything  
else?

Love,

Smiles4Twilight

Dear Smiles4Twilght,

Edward: I do not have multiple personality disorder! It was something you wouldn't understand. Jasper fangirl. I haven't gotten one girl to scream over me in two chapters. OH MY GOD THAT'S A RECORD FOR ME!

Alice: YAY! More shopping buddies! I have enough shopping buddies to last the rest of eternity. Ooooohhhh silent couple. I like that; it reminds me of a deadly James Bond movie.

Jasper: I do still happen to have that uniform, but Emmett can never find it. But, if for some odd reason he did find out A) Esme would be extremely pissed and B) I would take Emmett to a place where no one can hear him scream and force him to watch Barney for twelve hours straight. That is the worst punishment of all.

Emmett: I love sports. Especially dodge ball. Even better when little Fig Newton is playing it. I love paintball evil grin. I have a great idea for the rest of the summer.

Rosalie: I still haven't really gotten over it. And it was even worse when Emmett deiced to prank call me and say it was Royce King. Gee thanks. That's what everyone says 'Oh Rosalie, you're so misunderstood!' or 'Rosalie I hated you so much, but now you at least rank higher than dog poop.'

Esme: It's especially difficult when you have Emmett trying to break your windows. And thank you!

Carlisle: I have always wanted to be a circus performer…

Love,

The Cullens

--

Dear Alice, Edward, and Emmett,

I want to be Alice's shopping partner please! Edward is hawt why does he like  
Bella I'm better oh yea and one of my bff's love Emmett

Love,

edwardsburnette12

Dear edwardsburnette12,

Alice: SQUEEEE!! WOW with all my new shopping buddies, I'll need to find a bigger mall. Oh well, I'll just ask Carlisle if he will build me a new one!

Edward: Whoo fangirl! See Emmett she thinks I'M hawt not you! _**NO one**_ is better than Bella.

Emmett: What?? That's all I get?? One BFF?? This sucks!

Love,

Alice, Edward, Emmett

--

Dear Edward,  
If you had to trade places with someone in your family for one day who would  
it be?

Love,

Blood Filled Tears

Dear Blood Filled Tears,

What a lovely username. I would trade places with Jasper, since he supposedly has more fangirls than me now.

Love,

Edward

--

Dear Cullens:  
Have you ever thought of moving to all little city called Lake Orion Michigan?  
Because me and my friends just love you guys. You would be well loved at my  
high school. And there are many places to go shoe shopping. There is a huge  
mall just in the next town. There is even a state park right by the school.  
Great hunting there. We don't mind big flashy cars. I mean we are in Michigan.  
We know that you are vampires. BTW we are also big Moonlight fans. And if you do know a vampire named Josef I would so like to know. We love you guys. And we hope that you chose our little town as you next place to live.

As a warning: We will be glomped a lot.

Love all of you especially Edward,  
WriterBitch92 and Riah

Riah's P.s: Love ya Alice.

Dear WriterBitch92 and Riah,

Carlisle: Lake Orion Michigan. Hmmm, I have considered it. But, if you all know our secret, that wouldn't really, be going undercover.

Jade: People in India know your secret, so what's the point of living in wet, rainy places. Oh, and everyone likes sparkles. Under cover for what?

Alice; CARLISLE THEY HAVE AWESOME SHOE SHOPPING I DEMAND WE MOVE THERE!! I LOVE MOONLIGHT!! Except, Josef's always busy doing something or another so he never visits.

Emmett: State park. By the school? Nice, I can even have lunch.

Edward: Big, flashy cars. That means I can buy a bigger, flashier car?? I want to move there. But how ever will I part with my dear Jamie!

Jade: Jamie?? Edward please, do not tell me you named your car Jamie.

Love,

Some of the Cullens

--

Dear Cullens,

Omc jade! How could you make me sound so crazy! Anyway all I have to say to you Edward...you know you'd love to eat Bella...well maybe not literally but u know she'd taste good! LOL oh and I have a question for Alice. Alice, would you mind going shopping w/ me to help me find clothes for when I go to India...PLEASE! Also I just want to say I'm sorry to all of  
you who I sent to therapy, its just that jade told me to give her a question  
so that was all I could come up with. Good luck with Jade as your therapist, she's awful. I'd also like to say a special sorry to Edward cause he's awesome (yea I am a fangirl of yours, but my Itachi comes first (he's from Naruto to those of you who don't know)) anyway TTYL  
-love Rina

Dear Rina,

Jade: Rina, you make yourself sound crazy 

Edward: I would never eat Bella. How on Earth could you think something like that? Then again, you are Jade's cousin. WHAT?? I'M LOSING FANGIRLS TO WEIRDO NINJAS FROM NARUTO faints

Jade: HEY!

Alice: WOW shopping for India. That's going to be a lot of clothes. YAY! Wow, I had no idea vampires could faint. Nice job Rina!

Love,

Alice and a much traumatized Edward

**(A/N: I don't mean to insult Naruto fans, my cousin is totally obsessed and personally I'm not a big fan.) **

--

Okay, first of all, I have a message for Rina: Uchiha Itachi is so not worth  
crying over! Anyone who hurts and/or endangers my boy Sasuke is on my  
hit-list!

Dear ALL Cullens,

What the flip?! Have you all been on a vampire-esque sugar high lately? Let  
me say this once and for all--IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO HAS THE MOST  
FANGIRLS/GUYS!

Because Edward and Bella whip everyone else's butts.

sticking tongue out,  
CrystalDragon

P.S.--Does anyone have any ideas about what Bella's power could be after  
she's changed?

Dear CrystalDragon,

Emmett: Ouch. That was colder than Rosalie's heart. gets smacked upside the head

Carlisle: Now that you mention it, Jade _has _been giving us this weird tasting blood so we won't have to hunt. I'm guessing Bella's power will have to do somewhat with reading minds.

Jade: Uh-oh looks like I didn't give them enough pinches nose and breaks open glass bottle that should do it.

Edward: SEEEE I DO HAVETHE MOST FANGIRLS!! No matter what I say or do, Emmett and Jasper still think they have more fangirls than me.

Jasper: sticks tongue out

Love,

The Cullen Boys

--

Dear People of the Cullen family, or whoever I seem to make this too,  
Alice. Do you ever get any sometimes rude nicknames? I mean. My nickname, cuz I'm short, is Yoda. Yea and that's not even the worst part. I got it from my  
crush. Yea. Oh and Jasper HI! I LOVE YOU! (So sorry Alice, but you have good taste!) And Edward. Why are you so overprotective? I mean you wouldn't even let Bella see Jacob, her best friend and person that saved her from the cliff diving! Oh and Bella, not one of your best idea's.  
Emmett. Why do people assume you to be dumb? Just cuz you're funny. I mean  
you're what 90 some? Wow.  
Well love you all. ESPICALLY JASPER!!  
The honorable CassieRae. Or C. for short!

Dear CassieRae,

Alice: There's the obviously Shorty. Or Strawberry Shortcake, Shrimp, Munchkin, Pee Wee, the Itsy Bitsy Spider…

Jasper: Haha, still have more fangirls! You wanna know the saddest part Edward? YOU'RE LOSING FANGIRLS TO NINJAS!

Edward: I AM NOT OVERPROTECTIVE!

Everyone else: coughyesyouarecough

Emmett: I don't know why everyone assumes I'm dumb. It really hurts, on the inside. sobs I mean, just because I crack a dumb joke or play pranks does not weaken my intellect. sobs harder

Love,

Some of the Cullens

--

Dear Emmett, will you divorce Rosalie and marry me?  
Lana Mare  
P.S. that is my real name

Dear Lana Mare,

Fangirl alert!! I'm sorry, but if I divorced Rosalie and married every girl who asked me to, I would have so many wives not even I can keep track of. Lana Mare. That's a cool name. How come I don't get cool names like that? I want a new name. Something like, Prince of the Arctic. YA!!

Love,

The Prince of the Arctic

--

Dear Edward,  
What is your favorite classical music piece?, mine is Mozart:Requeim, it is  
funeral music.  
P.S. my mother always said I had a flair for the dramatic, I think she is  
right, nothing scares me, Emmett can die trying (literally, but no offence to  
Emmett)

Love,

Lana Mare

Dear Lana Mare,

I don't know. I have lots of favorite but right now I like Bach Cello Suite No. 1 Mozart Mozart: Requiem is pretty good. You might wanna actually see one of Emmett's pranks. Especially the one with the old lady, Bella, and Advil. shudders

Love,

Edward

--

Dear Cullens,

I'm not a crazed fangirl, I promise, but I do have a slight obsession with  
Jacob Black. Lol, sorry about that.  
But anyway, Alice, did you dye your hair or has it always been black?  
Carlisle, on average, how fast does a torn muscle in your shoulder take to  
heal? I've been on bed rest for two weeks and I still can't use it.  
Edward, what would be a better car for drifting, a Ferrari or a Volvo? Just  
wondering, trying to convince my brother to buy one for me.

Thanks a bunch, wish I could meet you all in person!

-WolfChild01

Dear WolfChild01,

Carlisle: I'm that sure, I would have to look at it and tell you. But, I can guarantee, it will take more than two weeks.

Edward: WHAT?? FIRST NINJAS AND NOW PUPPIES?? What has the world come to? Drifting?? Volvos are so better. Ferraris are so overrated.

Alice: My hair has always been naturally black. Although, I once died it bubblegum pink…

Love,

Carlisle, Edward, and Alice

--

ALICE: Hi! My friends all say that if I wasn't peppy like you, I'd be so much  
like Bella it's scary :) But I suppose it's a good thing to be peppy right?? I  
can't dance though, and I'm not graceful. Anyways, what is the worst prank you've ever pulled on a family member?

JASPER: Wow. Your story is so insanely sad. Do you like feeling other people's  
emotions?

EMMETT: HI! Ok, I have some for you.  
1) Do you like funny looking animals (i.e. aardvark, platypus)  
2) What is your fave brand of Mac and cheese  
and 3) My friend wants you to know that she loves you more than Edward  
because you're 'awesome'.

CARLISLE: Hi. Not much else to say...

ESME: HI! Ok, do you like being a 'stay at home mom'?

ROSALIE: Hello. Ok, you are the like, 3rd best Cullen! I don't know why some  
people seem to hate you. I think that you're awesome. Um. Would you EVER dye  
your hair brown? Or pink? Or silver? Or blue?

EDWARD: Omc. omc. omc. omc. Hi. Do you ever strategize on how to kill Jacob? Cuz my friend and I hate him, and we think we figured out a way...

EVERYONE: Do you enjoy Canada? What is your favorite city? Vancouver,  
Edmonton, Toronto, etc. Hehe. Have you even been to all of these places? KEEP THE BLACK BEARS ALIVE EMMETT!

Ok lots of Luv!

pinkcrayon1101

Dear Pinkcrayon1101,

Alice: I LIKE TOTALLY LOVE YOUR USERNAME!! And who says peppy isn't good?? And if I told you that, Edward would _murder_ me. TEEHEE

Jasper: Sometimes it's annoying. Especially when Emmett is 'in the mood'. That's when I usually hunt. But, otherwise it's OK.

Emmett: I love funny looking animals. I have a collection of them in my room. Hmmm… I'm not sure. Probably the kind my mom made.

Tell your friend she' awesome too!

Carlisle: That's all I get?? HI?? Why doesn't anyone over the age of 6 ever want to talk to me??

Esme: It's O.K. But, I would really love to see the world. Like Japan. Or France.

Rosalie: OMC?? I'm actually a third favorite for once?? Wow, I never made it that high! I once did silver streaks and pink tips. Alice's idea, not mine.

Edward: Now, if I told you that, Bella would be upset. coughyescough. I'll get back to you later…

Love,

The Cullens

--

Well, I hoped you like that chapter. Sorry for the update wait. Once you get out of writing, it hard too get back in. Plus, my favorite show just ended (Avatar the last Airbender), and my shipping (Zutara) didn't go canon so I was in my emo corner for quite a while. Anyone else but me notice a little bit of repetition?? I always get the same stuff, "Jasper I love you, Alice let's go shopping, I hate Jacob."

I'm getting a bit bored of answering the same questions, I'll answer anything you give me, but please change it up a bit. Something crazy or hilarious. Also, this is _Cullen_ fan mail. Even though Bella will be a Cullen soon, I won't be taking any Bella questions. Sorry 

I'm thinking about doing the Volturi soon, vote on the poll on my page.


	16. Chapter 16

Cullen Fan Mail

**Cullen Fan Mail**

**Got a question for the Cullens?**

**How Does Edward feel about slash?**

**What conditioner does Rosalie use?**

**Who is the cutest couple?**

**Well ask them!**

**It's as simple as... replying!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, you would know by now. **

--

The Cullens:  
Alice, you are my favorite Girl. My favorite female vampire. It's cool that  
you're short- (I'm 4 feet 8 inches)- do you wear heels all the time to make up  
for it? Or do you like being short?

Edward: Fanfiction? How do you feel about you and Jacob? I don't like it. I  
don't think you will. My real question is: Do you have a grave in Chicago? I  
want to go see it.

Jasper: I think you are very awesome and sexy. I am your fangirl. Not  
Edward's. :D My question: Because slavery is BAAD: Do you ever reflect on your  
time as a Confederate Major? Or is that just something I can't understand?

Rosalie: You rock! I like your hair. It's nice. :) What conditioner do you  
use?

Emmett: Have you ever been to a club without Rosalie knowing? And maybe hit  
on someone?

Carlisle and Esme: You guys won the vote for cutest couple. :)

Luv, Ashley (Who thinks Jasper is yummy-looking.)

Dear Ashley,

Alice: YAY!! SHORT PEOPLE RULE THE WORLD!! I wear heels when we got to amusement parks and the movies. Otherwise, they won't le me in.

Edward: I'm not sure if I have a grave in Chicago. I would have to go look. Some people pair me with puppies?? NOOOOOOO!!

Jade: Oh ya, I see tons of them.

Edward: Don't tell me you _read _them?!

Jade: Well, sometimes when I'm_ really_ bored.

Edward: faints

Jade: Wow second time fainting. I was only joking.

Jasper: HAH! I do have more fangirls! She even said she's not your fangirl! No one could understand why I chose to be a Confederate Major. Nut slavery is, very, very bad.

Rosalie: Thanks! Well I use Pour Homme II All Over Shampoo by Gucci and Alberto Balsam conditioner. I hope that helped!

Emmett: Now, if I told you that, I would have to kill you. If vampires could turn red, he'd be scarlet by now.

Carlisle: Cutest couple? WOW usually Alice and Jasper win that.

Esme: I would like to thank the academy…

Jade: Um, Esme you won cutest couple not an academy award.

Esme: I know, but I've always wanted to see that.

Love,

The Cullens

--

Dear Cullens,  
EDWARD- Why is your smile crooked? (Beautiful to an excruciating degree, but  
crooked nonetheless)  
ALICE- I have three nicknames: Yami, Doctor Yams, and Alice. We're too alike  
for our own good... I so love it!  
JASPER- I'm an empath too! Of course, not to your degree. But if I was turned  
into a vampire I'd be agile, good at lying, and an empath.  
ROSALIE- You know... if you're mean to Bella all the time, something might  
'accidentally' happen to your face.  
EMMETT- You're so funny and awesome. Rock on Mista.  
CARLISLE- I applaud your patience, intelligence, morals, and self-restraint.  
ESME- Do you ever just wanna bake some cookies though no one will eat them?  
Is now one of those times? wants cookies

Sincerely and forever 75 stuck in the body of a current 15 year old,  
Yami416

Dear Yami416,

Edward: I don't know why my smile is crooked. It just is. I must ponder that.

Jade: Ponder?

Edward: Yes ponder!

Alice: YAY! People use my name as a nickname! I feel so special!

Jasper: Finally someone who understands how I feel. It's so hard!

Rosalie: What is that supposed to mean? I'm not afraid of some petty humans.

Jade: What about Royce King gets lamp thrown at head

Emmett: Nothing would 'accidentally' happen to my beautiful wife's head. You're right, I am awesome.

Carlisle: Thank you. It's good to see the youth of today appreciates that. Unlike SOME people.

Jade: HEY!

Esme: I do sometime feel the random urge to bake cookies. pulls on apron

Love,

The Cullens

--

Dear Cullens,  
OME! I cannot believe that I am ACTUALLY talking to you guys! Okay, so;  
Edward; I think that you are so awesome... dreamy... and I so envy Bella for  
you! But since you have Bella, I guess we can be "Just friends". But I would  
like your number or e-mail... friends like to have their friends e-mail or  
cell number!  
Emmett; Hmm, I know that you're supposed to be hard as granite, but I imagine  
you like a soft teddy bear xD  
Rosalie; I can TOTALLY see why you don't like Bella! I mean, she's trying to  
steal my vamp! (God did I say that aloud?!) anyway, keep treating Emmett like  
the Teddy Bear he is, the more Edward gets those... err... unpleasant  
thoughts.  
Esme; You seem so nice! I would love to have you as my mom, but my mom is  
also awesome.  
Carlisle; What's your Hospital's name?! I need to know so that I'll know  
where to go when I hurt myself! (Just like Bella, I'm a klutz)  
Jasper; How do you handle all of those emotions?  
Alice; Okay, so people already told you that Stephenie Meyer wrote a book  
about you guys, right? So the fourth is coming out August 2nd... and where I  
live the public library is throwing a HUGE party for it. You dress as your  
favorite characters, so I'm dressing as you! I just LOVE you! So, what types  
of clothes do you where? Everyone says I look like how they picture you...  
well anyway I just HAVE to go shopping with you! I'm a shop-o-holic and I know  
you are so we could have so much fun and spend so much money! It will be  
AWESOME!  
- Sam Cullen

Dear Sam Cullen,

Edward: Umm... sure we can be 'Just Friends'. She thinks I'm dreamy. Whoa.

Emmett: I can be a soft teddy bear when I want to be. It's like a superpower. SOFT TEDDY BEAR MODE WAPAAAA!!

Rosalie: O.o… I think you DID just say that out loud. Edwrad gets unpleasant thoughts. As long as they're not about Bella, they're classified as 'unpleasant'

Edward: Are not! So much for 'Just Friends'

Esme: Thanks! Would you like a cookie?

Carlisle: Forks Hospital. Original right?

Jasper: It's hard. I would love to see Emmett in my shoes.

Alice: There another book? I HAVE TO READ IT!! I love those books; I wonder how Stephenie Meyer got all of Bella's thoughts if Edward can't. I really really love anything DKNY or Burberry, We have to go shopping and get you the perfect outfit!

Edward: You mean to say Alice that you've been reading a book containing all of Bella's thoughts, and you kept it a secret? No wonder you're watching Death Note in Japanese in your head… GIMME THE BOOK!

Love,

The Cullens

--

Dear Cullens,  
Hey, it's me, I.Write.Sins.Not.Tragedies, but I've changed my name as to  
avoid a restraining order some other cute vampires have put on me. :) Don't  
worry Emmett, you're still my favorite.  
Speaking of Emmett, I totally love you. If things ever go south with you and  
Rosalie, call me.  
Rosalie: Sorry for all that, but hey, can you blame me?  
Edward: You know, now that I think about it, you're not second hottest  
vampire at all. You're third. ;)  
Jasper: Congrats, you're now second hottest vampire on earth! YAY! If Emmett  
and Rose stay together, you can always call me.  
Alice: See comment for Rosalie. OMC I TOTALLY HAVE TO GO SHOPPING WITH YOU!  
Can we go shoe shopping?  
Esme: You are, like, the greatest mom EVER. I was SO SAD when I heard that  
you jumped off of the cliff - I think I cried.  
Sorry for this really long letter!  
Yours in Drooling-Over-Emmett-and-Then-Jasper-But-Not-Edward,  
- My Watercolor Romance, aka I.Write.Sins.Not.Tragedies

Dear My watercolor Romance

Emmett: I'll keep that in mind gets smacked upside head

Rosalie: Sleep with both eyes open

Jade: That's not possible is it?

Carlisle: Well…

-3 Hours later-

Carlisle: And that is how you sleep with eyes open

Everyone else: ZZZZZ

Edward: THIRD?? WHAT?? HOW ON EARTH IS THAT FAIR!? I've noticed, that since I've stared answering these question, my popularity has gone down.

Jade: Don't look at me.

Jasper: SECOND?? Must twitch kill twitch Emmett twitch

Alice: I agree with Rosalie. Jasper is _**mine **_starts over protective mode

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO shoes!

Esme: Thank you. I was young and foolish. And not a vampire. In some ways, I'm thankful I did jump.

Love,

The Cullens

--

Dear Cullen family,

I have to admit, I was very pleased to find that you and your family are  
answering fan mail. Must be tedious work. So, anyway, best get on with the  
questions.

Edward: You're good-looking (though that's probably an understatement),  
brave, loyal...is there anything you CAN'T do? And be honest. Oh, before I  
forget, I also play the piano. Been doing it for...8 years now, but I'm still  
horrible. Is that sad? How long did it take you to learn to play? By the way,  
as much as Bella knows this, tell her again that I think she is very lucky to  
have you.

Carlisle: YOU ARE AWESOME! But I'm still Edward's fangirl, sorry. Anyway, I'm  
looking to be a doctor when I grow up, so any suggestions on where I should  
start and how?

Emmett and Jasper: STOP FIGHTING OVER THE AMOUNT OF FANGIRLS. It's obvious  
Edward has the most, but even if he didn't, this fangirl thing is getting out  
of hand. No offense meant. I love you both, really. By the way, Jasper, I love  
your gift.

To Rosalie and Alice: How do you put up with the boys (I refuse to refer to  
them as men as long as the fangirl war continues)? Seriously, it must be a  
pain.

And Esme: I really admire how you can take care of everyone. Doesn't it get  
tiresome after a bit?

I hope you all can reply soon (I know, this mail is REALLY long, so I'll end  
it right now). Bye!

Love,  
BatTitan

Dear BatTitan,

Edward: You have no idea. It took me four years. I started when I was human. Then I got bored and started playing when I was a vampire again.

Carlisle: I suggest taking higher level math and science. Math and science are very important, especially biology. It also depends on what kind of doctor you want to be.

Emmett: For so long, Edward has always been bragging about how many fangirls he has. Now he has a taste of his own medicine. MWAHAHAHAHAHA

Rosalie: O.o

Jasper: Ditto with Emmett. It's very annoying. WE ARE MEN!

Alice: It is a pain. But a couple of hours of shopping can do wonders on a vampire mind.

Rosalie: I just glare at Emmett and he behaves. There was that one time though…

Esme: It does get tiresome. But I usually keep them busy.

Love,

The Cullens

--

Dear Cullens

I'M BACK! I've decided to write something to each of you, including Bella,  
because I've considered her a Cullen ever since she found out Edward was a  
vampire.

Edward Just so you know, you totally have the most fan girls. I have gotten  
many people addicted to you, and 35 of those girls have shrines for you, just  
like I do. Oh and how long have you had the Volvo and why is it so important  
to you?

Bella I'm so jealous that you got Edward. Anyway, do you love your new  
Guardian? AND, have you ever thought of making Edward's scent a perfume or  
cologne, or both?

Jasper it's a tie between you, Carlisle and Emmett of 2nd hottest vampire.  
Okay, how many times a day do you have emotional breakdowns, and when do you have them? Plus, do you have a therapist for the emotions you feel?

Alice I WANNA GO SHOPPING WITH YOU TOO! Have you ever thought of going and meeting your niece? I mean, with a little makeup you could probably make yourself look the age you are supposed to be...I think.

Emmett Hi! What is the best way to annoy Edward, and Jasper too! Do you work  
out? If you do, what do you use? I suggest cars, like the big monster trucks,  
or maybe brightly colored semi's that say awesome things on them.

Rosalie I so used to hate you, but now I kinda like you now. Just so you  
know, there are many fanfictions that revolve around you. Okay, how long do  
you think it's going to take for you to love Bella like a sister?

Carlisle You know, if you could be all the Twilight fans doctors, you would  
have a major amount of money. Everyone would fake sick just to come see you.  
Okay, question is: Please describe your relationship with the Volturi. Are you  
guys like, BFFS?

Esme You would be like, the best mom ever. How do you deal with 6 teenagers  
(yes, I count Bella. I'm pretty sure she thinks of you as a second mother)  
everyday? I mean, with Emmett crashing through stuff, Alice bouncing off the  
walls, Edward being all moody (I still love you Edward), Bella  
being...well...human, Rosalie being so vain and self-centered and down right  
evil to Bella and Jasper having emotional breakdowns.

I LOVE YOU EDWARD (I love the rest of the Cullens too, don't worry),  
Kasey Elizabeth

Dear Kasey Elizabeth,

**(A/N: I have decided to include her question to Bella, since she has a pretty good reason.)**

Edward: WOW 35 SHRINES!! That just goes to show it. I d have more fangirls. I have had my Volvo for some time now, I'm not quite sure. I love my Volvo because it is my first love. And then Bella. I'm sorry Bella, but Jamie was here first.

Bella: I'm second to a car? I love my 'Guardian'. I would love to make Edward's scent into a perfume… that would smell _amazing_.

Jasper: I DO NTO HAVE EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWNS.

Rosalie: coughyesyyoudocough

Jasper: glare I only have them occasionally. Since Jade is forcing us to answer these questions, she's offered to be our therapist. And she SUCKS!

Jade: HEY! I'm only 13, what do you expect!

Alice: I would love to meet her. I could get away with it too.

Emmett: Well, I annoy Edward by giving him 'images' and give Jasper 'feelings'.

Jade: You do realize, about 200 people are going to read that?

Emmett: Oops… of course I work out! I use trees. I wanted to try and sue Jamie and Becky (Carlisle's car) but Carlisle said no and Edward started hugging Jamie and say 'My precious… My precious'

Rosalie: Really? There are fanfictions about me? I feel loved! It's going to take a while. For now, I accept her. I AM NOT EVIL TO BELLA

Carlisle: I would make a lot of money. But, I'm happy in Forks. I wouldn't say we are BFF's. Just, I know them. We hang out. A bit. Occasionally.

Esme: It's hard. Being a vampire helps though.

Love,

The Cullens+Bella

--

Dear Cullen Peoples (and Hale peoples and Swan peoples),

You are all awesomeness! Carlisle, I'm a Londoner, too! And Esme, you are the  
nicest person in existence (which is good because me and my friends have  
Cullen nicknames and my nice-but-violent friend has to be  
nice-and-less-violent when we call her Esme).  
Jasper, you do have fangirls ;) and you're awesome because you have a cute  
accent w Sadly, the actor playing you in the movie looks like something's  
eating his head. His hair (do you watch Potter Puppet Pals, by the way??).  
Alice, you have the best hair ever and I love your height, or lack thereof  
;)! Will you take me shopping? (I have no money at the moment, perhaps about  
10 pounds coughhintcough)  
Emmett, you don't have any fangirls in my school. I am sorry. Although, were  
you outside an all girls' London school this afternoon, or was the spazattack  
my friends and I had unwarranted?  
Rosalie, you are perhaps my favorite (my fangirlyness towards your brothers  
is preventing certainty) and your name is my nickname, I don't know why...  
Edward, you have FANGIRLS. Many, many, many... Well, seven. Eight. Nine. That I know of! You aren't possessive or OCD (my friend thinks you are, her  
nickname is Jacob and she is insane... Hehe.) You deserve Bella, because you  
want her to be happy no matter what, even if that means letting go. And Jacob  
WILL imprint. I know it! angry face  
Bella, I am starting the "don't let 'Esme' or 'Jacob' assassinate Bella  
because Edward/Jacob won't like you anyway and then there'll be no more  
Twilight, only Midnight Sun and not Breaking Dawn" charity. Also known as the  
DLEoJABBE/JWLYAatTBNMTOMSanBD (pronounced "deleojabby jwulie art tuhbuhnuhmuh Tom sanbud") You are a wonderful person, and all people need to vent sometimes. So punch Mike Newton where it hurts (anywhere, basically)...  
Blessings!  
Eva

Dear Eva:

Carlisle: Ah, London. I miss it. I wish I could go back some day.

Esme: Well I'm happy to hear your nice-but-violent friend is being less violent.

Jasper: WHAT?? NO WONDER I HAVE STARTED LOSING FANGIRLS I THIS CHAPTER!! THE ACTOR MESSED ME UP!! I love HPPP. BOTHER!

Alice: Ooooohhhh Shopping in London. That would be so amazing! YAY someone who will let me spend money on them!

Emmett: Hmm… no I don't plan on visiting any all girl London schools until next month.

Rosalie: Yay! I'm a favorite for once!

Edward: I do not have OCD. You can just ask Carlisle!

Bella: It sounds, very interesting. I would love to be a member of DLEoJABBE/JWLYAatTBNMTOMSanBD

Love,

The Cullens+Bella

--

Dear Cullens

Edward: You do know that Bella wants you to stop blaming yourself for  
everything. My bf does that and I'm like "Dude its ok I forgive you. You don't  
need to blame yourself!" and he still does it and it annoys the hell out of me  
but I love him. AND are you happy or sad that that Jacob is running away and it  
worries Bella? (I mean I can feel for you Bella but I think it HILARIOUS when  
Edward threatened to break his jaw himself!! I so would have paid to see that!)  
Bella: I was reading this one fanfic where Edward leaves a note that makes it  
sound like he left again and you like freaked out and Jake ( BURN IN HELL YOU  
FLEA INFESTED UGLY THING!! - I don't even know what to call him after he made you go through all that pain and " dog " or " mutt " would be to much like a  
compliment - ) offered to take to you his house in La Push so you wouldn't be  
reminded of Edward since he " left " and he almost RAPED you!! But Edward  
being the hero he is comes and saves the day!! (Those types of stories makes  
me want to punch something because one story like that left me emotionally  
scarred. If you want to be scarred like that read "so cold" (Shudders at thought  
of that story) I was wondering if that was made up or if it really happened.  
P.S. I'm a fan girl of all 4 Cullen males FYI  
P.S.S. Jacob WDYJDDAGTHANCBYULFIB!! (It means WHY DONT YOU JUST DROP DEAD AND GO TO HELL AND NEVER COME BACK YOU UGLY LITTLE FLEA INFESTED BASTARD )  
Pardon my French  
P.S.S.S Sorry this is long but Rosalie and Alice will you take me shopping??  
Please? My wardrobe in a seriously bad make-over. ( I don't mind getting  
make-over's btw. I just don't do eye liner I got hurt with before and they have  
always scared me.)  
LONCL TwilightAndEdwardLuver (My favorite vamp is a tie between Edward and  
Alice and Emmett. Edward because he is so nice and caring and Alice because I  
LOVE SHOPPING AND AM LIKE A PIXIE TO and Emmett because I LOVE to bug the crap  
out of people!! )

Dear TwilightAndEdwardLuver,

Edward: I must say, I am glad he is finally gone, but upset to see Bella worried.

Bella: What a terrible fanfic. Who writes this kind of stuff?

Jade: sixteen year old girls who have waaaay too much time on their hands. JACOB IS NOT A FLEA INFESTED UGLY THING!

Edward:?? WDYJDDAGTHANCBYULFIB. I'm amused.

Alice: It's ok eye liner it your friend!

Love,

Some of the Cullens

**(A/N: Honestly, I would pay big money to see that too!)**

--

Dear Esme, Rosalie, Alice, and Bella,

How do feel about your men obsessing over how many fan girls they have? And  
do you have any way of making them forget about the whole thing? (Cuz it's  
getting a little annoying--They would be NOTHING without you four!)

Up with Girl Vamps, down with Werewolves! (and I'm talking heavy-duty 'down'  
here, like makes-Hades-feel-like-he-lives-on-Mount-Everest-down)

Hearts,  
CrystalDragon791

Dear CrystalDragon791,

Alice: It get's soooooooooooo… annoying. All I hear is "I HAVE MORE FANGIRLS!! NO I HAVE MORE FANGIRLS!! DIE PUNKS!!" No more" Alice honey, you look so beautiful" or "Lets take a walk." Why can't Edward and Emmett Just Give it up.

Rosalie: I beg to differ. Emmett des have more fangirls. Why would he not?

I agree with Alice, though. I told Emmett I would leave him for someone else if he didn't get his act together and he said "That's OK, I'll just call My-Watercolor-Romance." She is so dead!

Esme: Carlisle doesn't really join in on their silly games. He's just tired of being left out.

Bella: Puh-lease Alice and Rosalie. We all know when everyone first reads Twilight; they scream "OMG EDWARD CULLEN WE LOVE YOU!!"

Jade: Actually Bella, I screamed "OMDE BELLA!! ENOUGH WITH THE DAMN SELF-PITY!! FALL OFF A CLIFF AND DIE!!"

Bella: O.o. EDWARD, JADE'S BEING MEAN!!

Jade: sigh

Alice: I wonder who has the most fanboys…

Jade: Alice, please don't start a fanboy war

Rosalie, Esme, and Bella: FANBOY WAR!!

Jade: It's now official, not only do we have a fangirl war going on here, but we also have a fanboy war.

Love,

Esme, Bella, Rosalie, and Alice

--

Dear Edward; What would you do if Jacob imprinted on you?  
Dear Billy: How do you feel about Jacob and Bella? Does if bother you that  
they spend so much time together even though there may never be no future for  
them because A: At some point Jacob will likely imprint on someone or B: At  
some point Bella will become a vampire? Are you using their friendship to get  
classified information about the vampires? Also how did you end up in a  
wheelchair? Were you ever a werewolf or did you get skipped because there was  
no vampires around town in your youth? If you were a werewolf, did you get  
shot by a hunter or maybe even Charlie? Or is it simply because you're one of  
the few people in the series that actually grew old?  
Love Vampire Meep (only the Edward question was mine the Billy one is my  
friend Kelly's she wanted me to ask it)

Dear Vampire Meep,

Edward: Is that even possible?? That can't be right.

Jade: Well, Edward Jacob/Edward is a very popular slash ship. Probably second to Carlisle/Edward and in front of Mike/Edward.

Edward: Carlisle and Mike?? HOLY SHIT!!

Jade: ahem LANGUAGE!

Edward: IMAGES!! starts fetal position and sucking thumb

Billy: I think Jacob and Bella should be together. More than Edward and Bella. But what Bella does, is what Bella does, and I have learned not to interfere in that anymore. Now what makes you think I would be using there friendship to get info start nervous sweat How I ended up in a wheelchair is none of your business! I was never a werewolf, though I can't say I'm disappointed.

Love,

Billy and Edward

--

Dear Edward  
I absolutely love you but not in the trying to take you away from Bella thing.  
Has there been one time that you might've met someone like Bella before you  
met her? Just curious. Also what are you taking Bella for your honeymoon? And  
what do you do when certain moments happen? And do you listen to musicals?  
not HSM that's a stupid musical like Wicked?  
Love  
SilverShadowWings or SSW  
P.S I was KirbyStar 5 before. I changed my name a lot.

Dear SSW

I have never met someone like Bella before. Tanya tried, but I let her down. Now why would I tell you where our honeymoon is? For all I know you be organizing a rabid horde of fangirls to hunt me down!!

Jade: Paranoid much?

Edward: Oh I remember HSM. Alice and Bella forced me to watch it with them. I like Phantom of the Opera.

Love,

Edward

--

Dear Cullens  
Emmy: you are everyone's personal teddy bear (cute? and big)  
Jazzy: l feel you it must be hard feeling everyone's emotions  
Eddy: (sorry)you are so overprotective but still great  
Carly: you are the best doctor in history  
Esmy: love you your the best mum possible  
Rosey: people hate you for a reason your insanely beautiful  
Alicey: your hyper is great don't know why they complain  
Bella: love you, you are the best  
I think the girls are better than the boys  
iflyec I frick'in love you Edward Cullen

Dear iflyec,

Emmy: THAT'S SUCH A COOL NICKANME!! BETTER THAN PRINCE OF THE ARCTIC!! YAY TEDDY BEARS!!

Jazzy: It's very hard. It's even harder when Emmy is squeezing the crap out of you saying 'TEDDY BEAR'

Edward: I hate being called Eddy. Or as Emmett usually says 'Special Ed'.. I am not overprotective

Carly: coughyesyouarecough Thank!

Esmy: Esmy. That sounds funny. Esmy. Esmy. Esmy. TeeHee

Rosey: You know it.

Alicey: I think Esmy has gone nuts. Hyper is good.

Edward: After five hours of it, you feel like you want to slap her.

Jade: I don't think the fanboys will permit that, Special Ed.

Bella: Why don't I get a cool nickname??

Jade: Me and my cousin call you LaLa (because we are sooo creative)

Bella: LALA!!

Edward: What does that make me?

Jade: DeeDee. But I do love the sound of Special Ed.

Love,

Emmy, Jazzy, DeeDee, Carly, Esmy (who has gone nuts), Rosey, Alicey, and LaLa

--

Hey Cullens,  
Why do u guys hate on Jake? I mean he's like awesome if you really think  
about it? I mean everyone acts that way sometimes.  
Anyway Edward loosen up. Please. I mean you act like my father.  
Alice and Jazzy. You guys rock. 2 best people ever.  
Emmett and Rosalie you guy's rock. I mean you guys might not be in the spotlight a lot but u guy's are awesome. If you guys could go anywhere in the world for a honeymoon where would it be?

Love,

Jasper's Wifey

Dear Jasper's Wifey,

Edward: Jake is not awesome and I DO NOT act like a father.

Alice: YAY WE ROCK!

Rosalie: Thanks! Psh Jasper's Wifey tells me I rock and that Edward is a dad. I would like to go to… something nice like Paris.

Emmett: I would like to go to Florida. DISNEY WORLD!!

Love,

Some of the Cullens

--

Dear Cullens,  
Is there a certain couple that you guys think is better than the other?  
(Jasper and Alice forever)  
with lots of love to evry1 cept Edward cuz I hate him  
Jaspers Wifey

Dear Jasper's Wifey,

Edward; WHY DO YOU HATE MEE??

Jade: Because, all of the sudden in this chapter, you've gotten extremely whiney. And it's getting annoying.

Alice: Of course we dominate. I mean, we ARE Alice and Jasper

Rosalie: Hun please. It's Rosey plus Emmy. I mean, I'm the gorgeous one, and Emmy's the Teddy Bear. Who doesn't like Teddy Bears?

Esme: I think Carlisle and I make a cute couple.

Jade: Why don't I put a poll on my page and let you guys know next time?

Esme: That's sounds like a good idea.

Love,

Some of the Cullens

**(Who really is the cutest couple? Vote now on my page!)**

--

Dear Cullens:

When you were human, did any of you eat pie? What was your favorite? (Yum,  
apple pie)

Anyway, randomness aside, I'd have to say I was an Emmett fangirl. And Edward  
too. And Jasper. But Emmett the most. Don't kill me, Rosalie.

Right, another question or two.

Edward: What will you do when Bella's vampire and doesn't need you to protect  
her every second?

Carlisle: Don't worry, I won't ask if you're gay. What I will ask, however,  
is that if you had to dye your hair a crazy color, what would it be?  
Hmm...same question for the rest of you, actually.

Edward: Emmett the most? Why? Why not me?

Jade: See my comment above

Alice: I like blackberry, strawberry, cherry, tomato mix. I would do the tops of my spikes pink, and my bangs green.

Jade: I won't ask. Partially because I'm afraid, and partially because I feel sick.

Carlisle: Thank you for not questioning my sexual orientation. I've always wanted to dye my hair silver. Or Blue.

Rosalie: I never really ate pie. I think red would look nice in my hair.

Jasper: Apple pie is amazing. How could not have hap pie Rosalie? I would do… orange and black stripes. Yeah.

Esme: Maybe a very light, a very faint purple. Like lavender. I love to bake pumpkin pie. Even when no one will eat it.

Love,

The Cullens

--

Dear Cullens,

I love you all.  
I want Esme and Carlisle to adopt me.  
Maybe I should break my arm then go to a hospital to meet Carlisle.  
xD JK.

Love,  
Shadows of The Light

Dear Shadows of the Light,

Carlisle: I don't think breaking an arm is a good idea. If not broken properly, it can cause very severe damage.

Jade: How do you break your arm 'properly'

Carlisle: You see

-3 hours later-

Carlisle: And that's it.

Edward: That makes me what to never go to med school, again.

Love,

Edward and Carlisle

--

**Another successful chapter of Cullen Fan Mail. Anyone but me notice the Cullen's acting strangely? That can only mean…**

**HUNTING TIME!!**

**So this week's victim, uh, I mean, guest is the**

**drum roll**

**VOLTURI!!**

**So, be ready to ask anyone form the Volturi Family or guard a question.**

**Also, thanks to all my reviewers/alerts and stuff. Without you, Cullen fan mail would be nowhere. I apologize again for the delay; I had a new story in mind and wanted to get it down.**

**Also, please check out my new Volturi fanfic. I don't feel ready to give up Cullen fan Mail just yet, so let's see how I can juggle two fanfics. **


	17. ANNo more fan mail

A/N

A/N

Huge sigh

Breaking Dawn, honestly, disappointed me.

I'm not hereto tell you my opinion, I'm just going to say, that I WILL NOT be continuing this fanfic or The Guard (which had 0 reviews so that's OK)

Really, that's not how I pictured BD.

If you want my full thoughts, just PM me.

It was great writing this fanfic, an I'm very sorry I had to end it before I answered all the questions.

Maybe sometime in the very late future I may continue this out of sheer boredom, but for now, I'm taking a break from Twilight fanfiction and from Breaking Dawn.

Thanks to all the fabulous readers and reviewers who made this fic great, I had no idea people would find my lame attempts at humor funny.


End file.
